Martta's World

Updates, Updates, Updates

2008-05-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

I know I've neglected this site for too long. But you'll be happy to learn that I haven't neglected my garden! It's really starting to shape up. And I have the requisite back pain to prove it. Oh yeah. I promise pictures when I can bend down to retrieve the camera from its case on the floor of my bedroom closet. Really. Let's just say the words "bend down" don't exist in my vocab at the moment.

Some highlights:

1. We have a wedding date! Yay! June 29. The date was dependent on the schedule of the person we wanted to officiate at our wedding. Well, he said, "I do" and we're all set. What's nice is that it's someone we both know and and love. If he's reading this, I'm sure he's smiling now. Plus, he's a Mets fan which makes DF happy.

We both wanted a non-religious ceremony. DF, because he's a fallen Catholic. Me, because my Deist self has not set foot in a house of worship in so many years I've lost track. I always say, "I love God, I just don't like religious people." But, you know, that's another post another time.

2. Wedding plans haven't been TOO hairy. The worst aggravation we've had so far is ordering the invitations. Since I know the the printer in question is NOT reading this (not even sure he can read actually), I can say without compunction that he and his assistant are dumber than a bucket of grass. I mean, we didn't ask for the friggin' Guttenburg Bible. So why in the world would it take three proofs for a pretty basic wedding announcement? They would correct one mistake only to make another. The fonts on the invites didn't match those on the envelopes. But finally, since there were no glaring spelling or grammatical errors, we let it go. Time was of the essence.

The thing that burns me up most about all this is that this printer in question is the printer for our running club. Actually, the print shop used to owned by a member who since retired from the business and sold his shop. Out of laziness, convenience or whatever, we stayed with this print shop and its new owner who has the personality of a house plant but who is not as pretty. Also, not as competent. Do you know that this asshole had the audacity to tell DF when he complained, "Well, if you don't like it, you can take your business elsewhere?"

That's it. Since I sit on the board of our running club I am going to make a lot of noise and suggest we switch to another printer. Since the aforementioned member is no longer an owner, it's no skin off our collective noses. So, not only is said printer losing OUR business, he's losing that of our club, of 300 or so members. Don't mess with a Scorpio. Ever.

3. I had my 6-month cardiologist appointment two weeks ago. Basically, I get weighed (weight has been the same for 3 years now--I've kept off the 10 pounds), have my cholesterol, triglycerides, sugar and BP tested, and she listens to my heart and all that jazz.

A little background: When I first started going to her a few years ago, I was 10 pounds heavier, and had cholesterol of 257. My other values were OK but I was concerned about the cholesterol since heart disease runs in the male strain of my family. To make a long story short, I lost the weight and my cholesterol came down to 213. Not optimal (under 200) but we could both live with that since my good cholesterol (HDL) was high and I really had no risk factors other than family history.

So, at this latest appointment, she takes my blood and asks me, "Are you doing anything differently?" I had to think about that one. I've always been an exerciser, that was never an issue. I was doing about the same amount of running as I've always done. My diet was about the same, pretty good. What was she getting at?
"Do you realize that your cholesterol is 185, your HDL is is 73, your tris are 50 and your glucose is 93? This is the best blood profile you've had since you've been coming here!" To say I was in shock is an understatement. I haven't had blood values like that since I was in my early 30s!

But then I thought about it some more. I AM doing something differently. Due to the recession--and with food prices so high--I cannot afford to eat out as often. Most of the time (and I mean like 4 out of 5 days at work) my lunches consist of a romaine lettuce salad with egg whites or grilled chicken, peas, broccoli, corn, edamame (when they have it), walnuts and....black beans. Truth be told, I could probably eat this every day and not get tired of it. And it costs around just $6. Beans, as you might know, are extremely high in soluble fiber which has been shown to lower cholesterol. I've always liked beans but I wasn't eating them every day until now.

Nutritionists often tell people who don't like--or can't eat beans for whatever reason--to take Metamucil to help lower cholesterol. Personally, I'd rather eat the beans. I think that stuff tastes nasty--ugh.

In the past, I had tried everything. If you remember, about a year ago, I worked out with a personal trainer and lost body fat (BF was down to 15.5%--now I realize that was too low for my sanity). Still, my cholesterol hovered around 213.

So, what I conclude from this experiment on myself is that body fat doesn't have THAT much affect on cholesterol as does the daily intake of soluble fiber.

Should I now be thankful for the recession?

2008-04-25T17:52:00.000-07:00

Boston Marathon Recap

2008-04-23T10:32:00.000-07:00

What can I say about experiencing the Boston Marathon as a spectator? What a class act!

Everything, from the amazing, HUGE expo, the pasta party, the bus queue, and finish area was very well organized, considering the crowds (about 25,000 people, not including tens of thousands of spectators).

Yes, it was zoo-ish at times, as is to be expected, but I never saw anyone or anything get out of control. The only thing I didn't like (and this has nothing to do with the marathon) is the Boston subway system. You call that a subway system? I will never again complain about the NYC subway system as long as I live. Think of a Manhattan subway platform at rush hour. Then shrink the E train to about one-tenth its size but imagine the same number of people trying to cram into it. Ugh. And Lord help you if you're not fortunate enough to be holding onto something when the train stops (or should I say, lurches). Not for sissies!

Gotta say, though, that the people of Boston--citizens, police and subway workers--were very patient and courteous in my experience. I am sure they must have heard the same questions all day long: "Where is this street? Where is that street? How do I work this machine? How do I get there?" My hat is off to them.

It was nice catching up at the pasta party with Mick, Phil, Laura and Glenn. At first the organizers direct you under a Big Apple Circus big top, complete with clowns and merrymakers. You think you are being taken to some sort of show but the food and tables are actually further away, outside the comfort of the tent. We literally sat in Siberia (it was about that cold!) but it was fun. We dined on two types of pasta, salad, bread sticks and brown ale.

The next morning, we got up at the crack of dawn, checked out of our hotel and parked in a garage downtown. We never discovered the urban myth of "free parking" but we parked all day and only paid $20. That's where Boston has New York beat.

I walked with Tom over to Boston Commons where thousands were queued up for yellow school buses that would take them to the start. If I were writing a poem about it, I would describe the scene as a "sea of red bags," as everyone had their Boston Marathon clothing bag slung over their shoulder.

The runners had great weather: sunny, 50s, not too breezy.

I kissed Tom goodbye, wished him luck and then headed back into the downtown area. On the way out of Boston Commons, a man who sounded remarkably like Borat stopped me and asked, "Excuse my ignorance, but what is this gathering?" I could not believe that someone in Boston, let alone on the planet, would A. not know it's Patriot Day and B. not know it's the Boston Marathon. I told him and he was all taken aback. Glad I could set his world back on its axis.

So, I had a few hours to kill. It was only around 7 AM and Lynne wouldn't be calling me until around 10:30 so that we could watch the marathon together. I stopped at Starbucks, had my coffee, and then, based on Mick's advice, decided to tour Newbury Street. What cool street! Lots of unique stores and restaurants, all unfortunately not open until later but still, it was a nice walk and I got some good photos.

I walked over to the family reunion area on Stuart Street to familiarize myself with it and then later checked out the mall. Lynne called me around 10:30 so made my way outside and was amazed how in just a few hours, the crowds had swelled to around three deep at the finish line on Boylston. Lynne, myself and Sally got a great spot where we were able to see the first male and female winners come in. We saw Robert Cheruiyot fly by with no one else anywhere near him for about two minutes, with a finishing time of 2:07. The two top women battled it out for the finish with the winner, Dire Tune of Ethiopia, finishing in 2:25:25, just 2 seconds ahead of Russian Alevtina Biktimorova!

It was exciting when we spotted ERC members Glenn and Mick finishing. Sally was waiting for her boyfriend to come in and both Lynne and Sally also knew some people from North Jersey Masters, Sneaker Factory and the Jersey Shore Runners. We screamed at the top of our lungs when we saw Tom but unfortunately, he was on the other side of the street and couldn't hear us. He looked good, though!

Later, I was able to catch up with Mick and Tom over on Stuart Street under the "E" for Essex sign. Good idea, Mick! I got to hear about the course from Mick's perspective, someone who's done the course a few times, and Tom, a newbie to Boston. Many veteran Boston runners have told me that most of Boston is downhill and this can actually be tougher on the quads than the hills. Something to remember if you're training for it.

A special shout out to Andy K.! This Boston marks his 600th marathon, finishing in a very respectable time of 4:15. Way to go, Andy! I only have 596 more to do to catch up to ya.

Same Ol' Same Ol'

2008-04-17T07:11:00.000-07:00

So what else is new? (Italics mine)

Rich getting richer, poor getting poorer
Sam Zuckerman, Chronicle Staff Writer

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The harder Tina Flores works, the more it seems like she falls behind.

The Oakland woman is a full-time secretary at Kaiser Permanente, where her husband David holds a job as a records clerk. Together the two of them earn about $75,000. But, with three kids in the family, a $2,300 mortgage payment due each month and the $150 a week it takes to fill the tank on the Flores' Honda van, that's not enough to pay the bills. Their income is not that bad but their family planning skills are.

So she recently cut her monthly contribution to her retirement plan to $140 from $30o.. And she's selling homemade cakes and pies on the side to bring in something extra. Everyone I know is looking for additional ways to earn income, including moi. That's what you do in a recession.

"My whole motto is self-sufficiency," Flores, 41, said. "But what are we working for? We're not prospering from all the work we're doing." I feel the same way.

Flores is not alone. Economic data show that a huge swath of low- and middle-income families, both in California and across the nation, are barely scraping by. By many measures, their living standards are stagnating or declining as the prices of such necessities as food, fuel and medicine rise faster than wages.

Today, two liberal Washington research groups are set to issue reports on income trends in the 50 states showing that the gap between those at the bottom and middle of the income scale and those at the top is widening at an accelerating pace.

In California, the poorest 20 percent of families saw their incomes rise 1.4 percent in the 2004-06 period compared with 1998-2000, after adjusting for inflation, according to the study by the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities and the Economic Policy Institute. The income of the middle 20 percent of families rose 3.8 percent. By contrast, the top 20 percent gained 13 percent after inflation, while the income of the top 5 percent jumped 20.8 percent.

Nationwide, families at the bottom and middle of the income scale fared even more poorly than their counterparts in California.

Across the country, average incomes fell 2.5 percent from 1998-2000 with 2004-06 for the bottom fifth of families, while edging up 1.3 percent for those in the middle. The top fifth registered a 9.1 percent gain.

No shared prosperity
"We are not seeing shared prosperity," said Jean Ross, director of the California Budget Project, a liberal research group in Sacramento that is helping distribute the report. "There's a pulling away at the top that's leaving the bottom 80 percent of families behind." Shared prosperity? What the hell is that? Sounds like socialism to me. Anyway, I haven't seen any of that 'shared prosperity,' either. Certainly not from the gubmint. Oh wait, sorry, forgot about the $600 I'm getting back! I promise not to spend it all in one place.

The groups responsible for today's study issued a similar report two years ago. And government data show income inequality has been rising for more than 25 years. So you can't place all the blame on the Repubs for this one.

The trend reflects a range of factors, according to the report's authors, including stagnant wages at the bottom of the income scale, robust pay increases at the top, and a hollowing out of jobs in the middle as manufacturing employment drops. In addition, investment income has grown faster than wages, benefiting those with large stock and bond portfolios. Government tax, trade and labor policies also contribute, the report contends. In other words, business as usual.

Liberal groups are pressing for policies to reduce income inequality, (Of course!) including increasing minimum wages and strengthening unemployment insurance. Free-market advocates warn against such measures and, in some cases, question the reliability of inequality data.

Robert Higgs, a senior fellow in political economy with the libertarian Independent Institute in Oakland, argues that living standards have risen for all income groups.

Much better off
"The lowest-income people are much better off than they used to be," he said. "If you just look at the baskets of consumer goods that people are acquiring, it's just not consistent with data that shows people are not better off." This is true more or less in urban areas, not so much in remote rural ones.

Even if inequality were increasing, it doesn't follow that society should do anything about it, Higgs said.

"Journalists almost invariable accept as a fundamental premise that making distribution of income more equal is a good thing," he said. "But distribution of income is in a sense irrelevant to any issue of policy."

Today's report is based on U.S. census income data through 2006. It counts wages and unearned income ranging from interest and dividends to food stamps and welfare benefits. Because of faulty data, it doesn't calculate capital gains on sales of stock and other assets, which add to inequality.

Recent data suggest that the economic downturn is intensifying income differences and disproportionately harming low- and middle-income families.

For example, the most recent Reuters/University of Michigan Surveys of Consumers showed that 38 percent of low-income participants said inflation was a problem for them compared with 18 percent of high income respondents with similar complaints. That's the widest disparity ever found between low and high income survey participants on inflation, reflecting that prices of food and fuel and other essentials have climbed sharply, according to survey director Richard Curtin. But this is true for everyone. EVERYONE has to pay higher food and fuel prices.

Middle of the pack
Tina Flores is squarely in the middle of the income pack in the Bay Area. Even though she and her husband earn more money today than they did at the beginning of the decade, their family isn't living as well. Not to be a bitch, but then why did they have 3 kids?

"It doesn't seem like I'm gaining anything," she said, interviewed as she sat next to her mother, Joetta Fitzpatrick, who had business at the East Bay Community Law Center in Berkeley. "It seems the more I make, the more somebody takes it. I feel the same way and I don't have kids.

"I like to make a decent meal for the kids, but as the kids grow older they eat more. Everything is going up. Milk used to cost $2 something a gallon and now it's $6," she added. "We're eating a lot of noodles and leftovers." Same here. Going out to eat is pretty much for special occasions only. We all have to bite the bullet here, Ms. Flores!

In order to boost the family's income, Flores is preparing for nursing school by going to microbiology class two days a week. Her husband takes a four-hour course in electronic record keeping every day.

"I want my kids to do well and go to college," she said. "So we work and have to struggle."

Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities and Economic Policy Institute

E-mail Sam Zuckerman at szuckerman@sfchronicle.com

She’s Neglected Her Garden

2008-04-13T17:16:00.000-07:00

She’s neglected her garden:
The flower beds are blanketed with leaves
dating back two years ago.
Wild onions, that scourge of the suburbs,
grow in places once reserved for grass.
Rocks embedded in the soil
make it unsuitable for living things, except slugs.
If this garden was a book,
it would be titled, “Failure to Thrive.”

But once upon a time,
She was full of piss and vinegar,
Attacking the crabgrass with impunity,
rooting out all evil
in the form of burdock and thorny stalks
No dandelion puff was safe from her wrath.

Then arthritis took hold,
burrowing into her joints like bulbs
in her gnarled, purplish hands.
She no longer took pleasure in her garden,
Memories of sun-drenched leaves, perfect blooms,
and dew-dipped stems were replaced,
by pain and morning stiffness.
It would be early afternoon
until she could even make it downstairs,
to look out upon the sanctuary she once loved.

I’ve inherited her garden,
With its never-ending weeds,
leaves and pests.
It’s a work in progress but with no end in sight.

One day, though, it will come back
and, like the old woman, I will take much pride in it.
I will have sunflowers with heads bigger than my own,
pumpkin patches with huge vines,
snaking their way down under the fence.
Blue bachelor’s buttons, pink flox, yellow daffodils,
all shouting their names.
I will usher friends and loved ones into the backyard
Before they’ve had their tea.

But I know that one day, too,
something will prevent me from going out back,
and my garden will wither once again,
until some ambitious person with a rake and a dowel
will remark to her friends, “She’s neglected her garden.”

Is It Open Season on Atheists?

2008-04-11T08:12:00.000-07:00

What is it lately with attacking atheists? If these barbs were directed at any other group, the sheeple would be up in arms. This latest comes from violentacres.com, a mysterious web site with an even more mysterious author. The italics are mine, as per usual.

Atheists are Snobs
April 10th, 2008

The problem with Atheists is most of them are snobs.

Atheists think they’re being clever with their spaghetti monster analogies and fairy tale rhetoric, but at the end of the day, they come off sound like condescending pricks. And religious fundies sound like what? Music to your ears?

Furthermore, any group of people claiming superior intelligence that willingly engages in the fight of a losing battle automatically loses credibility. Hmmm. Sounds a LOT like religious fundies to me.

However, Atheists are too dumb to realize they’re fighting a losing battle, so they persist with the lecturing and the withering stares. Atheists have singled handedly ruined coffee shops with this crap. Say wha? The atheists that I know are anything but preachy. In fact, they tend to preach against preachiness. And please, direct me to the atheist coffee shop now!

I, myself, have not been able to claim belief in a higher power for many, many years. However, I can still see the value in Religion. I am just the opposite. I DO believe in a higher power but I think most religions are silly and tend to make people divisive.

Perhaps growing up without a strong parental figure in my life made me recognize the possible value of a loving Father figure up in the sky watching out for me. And hey, I try my best not forget that sometimes we all need something to believe in.

Most Atheists have the tendency to thumb their noses at Jesus, and then log onto World of Warcraft so they can pretend to be an orc for a couple of hours. They sneer at the Bible, but have no problem playing endless hours of vampire role playing games. The message is clear. Fantasies are OK as long as they include gratuitous violence and some sort of porn. Last time I checked, I didn't see hordes of WoW fans passing out literature at airports and bus stations trying to convert me to their belief system. Or picketing abortion clinics.

It’s no wonder Religious folks don’t take them too seriously. Even the Quiet Intellectual Atheist comes across as if he’s only denying belief to be aversive. That's YOUR projection there, Dearie. It’s hard not to pity the guy addicted to nonconformity like an addict to a needle.

Personally, I don’t mind Religion. Religious leaders, on the other hand, really get my goat. But in my experience, when you approach someone by saying, “Hey. I don’t mind Catholicism. It’s just the creepy priests fucking altar boys that gross me out,” members of the congregation are more apt to listen.

My only real issue with Religion (and ultimately, it’s a fairly small issue) is that it teaches people to be good for all the wrong reasons. Whether it’s the fear of a vengeful God and eternal life spent in the flames of Hell or the possibility of winning a ticket into Heaven accompanied by a boat load of virgins, people are still behaving well to escape punishment or to win everlasting life. Uh, that's kinda the point, ain't it? Controlling the masses by promising pie in the sky or eternal damnation.

Ideally, people would be good because it’s the right thing to do. Not because they want good Karma to come back on them and not because they’re hoping for a personal cloud to lounge on in the sky, but because doing the right thing is its own reward. I’d like to live in a world where people aren’t secretly hoping for a payoff for every single good dead they’ve ever done. In a perfect world, yes.

But then again, most of society today seems almost completely lacking in any moral compass whatsoever. So if ‘God’ does his part to scare some little bastard out of stealing my fucking car, I guess I can’t complain too much. Again with the generalizations! I've known plenty of atheists who could run circles around many religious folk, morally and ethically speaking.

Any Atheist who does seriously needs to reevaluate his priorities.

More from the "Party of Tolerance"

2008-04-09T10:55:00.000-07:00

From the Chicago Tribune:

Representative tries to put the fear of God in atheist

By Eric Zorn

Change of Subject

April 6, 2008

Did you hear about the state legislator who last week blasted a Lutheran minister during a committee hearing for spewing dangerous religious superstitions, and then attempted to order the minister out of the witness chair on the grounds that his Christian beliefs are "destroying what this state was built upon"?

Of course you didn't, because it didn't happen and would never happen. Not to a Christian, not to a Jew, not to a Muslim or to anyone who subscribes to any faith.

Such an attack would rightly be considered scandalously out of bounds in contemporary society.

But you probably also didn't hear about what actually did happen:

Rep. Monique Davis (D-Chicago) interrupted atheist activist Rob Sherman during his testimony Wednesday afternoon before the House State Government Administration Committee in Springfield and told him, "What you have to spew and spread is extremely dangerous . . . it's dangerous for our children to even know that your philosophy exists!

"This is the Land of Lincoln where people believe in God," Davis said. "Get out of that seat . . . You have no right to be here! We believe in something. You believe in destroying! You believe in destroying what this state was built upon."

Apparently it's still open season on some views of God.

Outside of Change of Subject, where I posted a transcript and the audio, Davis' repellent, un-American outburst received no attention whatsoever.

Copyright © 2008, Chicago Tribune

Talking Trash

2008-04-09T07:06:00.000-07:00

Liberals love meetings and focus groups about "being green," global warming, solar panels, you name it, but the reality is that most humans have little if any control over climactic change, can't afford solar panels and just plain don't have the time to attend another meeting.

Here's a news flash for you: Yes, you CAN make a difference. Round up some friends, grab a few huge trash bags and pick up the trash! Just like Mojo Nixon singing that "Elvis is everywhere," so is the trash: on the side of the road (especially exit ramps), in the woods, in parking lots, in parks. How it got there is a another blog entry, another time, but the important thing is that we can make it disappear.

My running club, for example, holds two clean ups, in the spring and fall, at the trail that runs from Verona through Little Falls. We actually have fun doing this. We're doing something good for the environment, we get to run on the trail afterwards and then go our for breakfast. Personally, I would like to see these held more often, possibly once a month. The trash that accumulates is staggering.

We hear about liberals being the only ones concerned with the environment. Talk about trash! There is soooo much hypocrisy there. How many of these folks actually use public transportation? Sure they ride their bikes to BlueWaveNJ meetings and whatnot but big whoop. That's a drop in the bucket. What do they drive the rest of time?

My brother who lives out west is a big ol' liberal but at least he's not a hypocrit. He actually rides his bicycle to work and back every day. So I give him props. When he does drive a car, it's not a big gas guzzler but a Toyota Camry.

I am stuck with public transportation as I live in NJ and work in NYC. If I rode my bike to work, I might not make it there alive.

So, next time you come unhinged about the environment, remember the Serenity Prayer: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference."

Picking up the trash is time and effort well spent. Sitting in a focus group or meeting on a beautiful day is not.

Random Stuff

2008-04-04T18:13:00.001-07:00

I realize that I haven't been posting a lot lately (that's an understatement) but I have been busy, with work, planning a wedding, getting the house and yard in order, and running, of course.

Tomorrow I am doing the MORE Half-Marathon in Central Park, really more for fun than anything else. It's a good cause, with the money going towards women's charities (you have to be a woman to run in it!) There's also a MORE Marathon taking place at the same time. That's a lot of bitches in the park...:-) A bunch of women from my running club are doing it. Kewl.

Some updates:

I was in rehab for a month. No, not the Amy Winehouse kind, the physical therapy kind. From time to time, you may have seen me write about this annoying pain in my hip upon getting out of bed in the morning. It would only bother me in the AM but once I got moving and took my shower, I was fine. Or so I thought.

It didn't hurt me while I ran but I knew that something wasn't quite up to snuff. I felt an imbalance of sorts, as if I was off-kilter. There was a heaviness in my left hip and leg that wasn't there before. I told Tom that I was going to get the hip x-rayed. His reaction was that little aches and pains are part of getting older. I disagree. Little aches and pains can become big ones and can also be indicative of something more serious going on, like arthritis. To me, getting older does not have to equal living in pain.

I looked in my insurance plan and found a sports doc at Lenox Hill Hospital. I waited in his office about 30 minuntes which I realize is the norm for a big NYC doctor, he saw me all of 5 minutes and sent me for a x-ray in the same building. It was then that I realized that, with the exception of my teeth, I have never had an x-ray in my 50 years on this earth. I was expecting a big production but that, too, took all of 5 minutes.

The good news: I don't have arthritis, thank God. In fact, my bones were in pretty good shape for some who's taken as many falls as I have on the trail. After doing some manipulations of my hips and legs, he determined that I had tendonitis in the glute area, which is a fancy way of saying pain in the ass. I also had a very tight iliotibial (IT) band. All from overuse.

The treatment consisted of PT 2 times a week for 4-6 weeks, daily doses of Advil and icing the affected area 10 minutes at a time.

To make a long story short, I found a wonderful PT guy literally right across the street from my office. He had me doing exercises to strengthen my ankles and IT band plus we worked on balance. I emabrrassed to tell you how off-balance I was.

My problem was cleared up within a month and I fell like a new person. No nagging pain when I get out of bed. I ran a 10-mile race last week in Freehold and finished in 1:25:24, my second best time ever for that distance. (My best was in 2005with a 1:25:02).

You see, I had gone to a chiro and massage therapist. Now while those treatments are good things, they are temporary fixes, in my opinion. If you have a problem that's not going away, you need to pull out the big guns. Glad I did.

Other stuff. Something weird is going on in the deli where I buy my lunch. No, I don't mean the increase in prices--that's everywhere. Most of the time, I eat salads for lunch, because they're cheap and I like them. I get either egg whites or grilled chicken on romaine lettuce with broccoli, black beans, corn, peas and walnuts. You're supposed to get a small slice of pita bread with your salad. One to a customer. There's one guy, however, who always shoves a second piece of bread into my salad. At first I thought it was just an oversight. But I asked my co-workers and they don't get extra slices of bread. Is that weird or what? Do I look that forlorn that perfect strangers are slipping me extra slices of bread? Please, I don't need the extra calories, thank you very much.

My oldest brother is very sick but he's in denial just how sick he is. Without going into tremendous detail, my brother has been diagnosed with congestive heart failure (CHF). Plus, he has to have an operation to repair a faulty valve in his heart. Needless to say, he is NOT an excellent candidate for surgery. He's 65, a former smoker (when I say former, I mean he just quit this year upon threat that he will most certainly die if he continues to smoke), and he has CHF. So, I am worried, yes. His attitude is "at least I don't have cancer." I don't know if he's trying to be funny or not, but neither one is a great hand.

Most of these problems are due to bad lifestyle choices on his part: the smoking, bad diet (which has now improved due to the wonderful woman he's married to), lack of exercise (he's golfs but that's about it). And I can't even pray for him because he's an atheist. So, I just tell him I love him and leave it at that.

Couldn't Have Said It Better...

2008-04-01T12:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.boomspeed.com/kmartta/breeder_bingo.jpg

Ah, the 80s!

2008-03-03T09:07:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5rfDZ9OxQ4

NJ's Best Kept Secret--Clinton

2008-03-02T16:59:00.000-08:00

And I don't mean Hillary!

Today was our last group run of the season and it was hosted by friends of ours who opened a running store in scenic Clinton, NJ.

I'd been to Clinton before for the annual River 2 Sea Relay but I had never been to this particular section (Main Street)and boy, was I blown away! One of last few gorgeous and unspoiled places, at least in the northern part of the state.

We ran on a bucolic trail that ended up at an abandoned railroad yard. Very Tennessee Williams "This Property Is Condemned"-ish! I took it easy today since I did a hard 8 yesterday and took a class at on my gym called "Boot Camp" on Thursday. The title of the class is apt (more on that another time).

So I did a 4-mile slow jog by myself and between the scenery, the chirping birds and sun-streaked cold crispness of the morning, I managed to clear the cobwebs from my brain. It never fails. On the rare occasions that I get to run by myself (Tom ran ahead of me to run with one of our faster runners, Gary), I always get to work through anything that's puzzling or bothering me. That's one of the bennies of running!

Afterwards, we went back to the store and had some bagels, fruit and coffee. Later, a few of us browsed some of the adorable shops on Main Street. We vowed to come back in the spring, with our bicycles.

The Barber

2008-02-24T13:28:00.001-08:00

One day a florist goes to a barber for a haircut. After the cut he asked about his bill and the barber replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber goes to open his shop the next morning there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.

Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The cop is happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.

Later that day, a college professor comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The professor is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber opens his shop, there is a 'thank you' card and a dozen different books, such as 'How to Improve Your Business' and 'Becoming More Successful.'

Then, a Congressman comes in for a haircut, and when he goes to pay his bill the barber again replies, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Congressman is very happy and leaves the shop.

The next morning when the barber goes to open up, there are a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the members of our Congress.

Vote carefully this year!

I Don't Make 'Em Up, I Just Post 'Em

2008-02-15T06:45:00.000-08:00

And this is the generation that supposedly is going to take care of us in our old age? Lord help us. Armageddon is truly around the corner. And you wonder why I like dogs better than kids. Italics are mine.

February 15, 2008
Attacks on the Homeless Rise, With Youths Mostly to Blame
By AMY GREEN
CROSS CITY, Fla. — Warren Messner was 15 when he and some friends attacked a homeless man and left him for dead. Mr. Messner jumped on a log laid across the man’s ribs. He does not know why. He was high, does not remember much and wants to forget the rest.

Today Mr. Messner is a baby-faced Translation: fat and ugly 18-year-old serving 22 years for second-degree murder. He used to like skipping school and listening to rap music with friends. He imagined he eventually would help his father install flooring. Now he talks to his parents nearly every night from the maximum-security Cross City Correctional Institution.

“It was just a senseless crime.” he said, his eyes down, his shoulders slumped. “I wish it would have never happened. It made no sense. It was stupidity.”

Mr. Messner’s story is not unusual. Nationwide, violence against the homeless is soaring, and overwhelmingly the attackers are teenagers and young adults. In Florida the problem is so severe that the National Coalition for the Homeless is setting up speakers bureaus to address a culture that sees attacking the homeless as a sport. It is the first time the organization has singled out a particular state.

Of more than 142 unprovoked attacks on homeless people in 2007, the most — at least 32 — were in Florida, according to a preliminary count by the coalition and the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty. Nationwide, such attacks rose about 65 percent from 2005.

In Fort Lauderdale a group of teenagers captured national attention in 2006 when a surveillance camera caught one laughing as he beat a homeless man with a baseball bat. The teenagers attacked three homeless men that night and face a murder trial in one man’s death. A year later in Daytona Beach, a 17-year-old and two 10-year-olds attacked a homeless Army veteran. One 10-year-old dropped a cement block on the man’s face, the police said.

“What could possibly be in the mind of a 10- or 12-year-old that would possess them to pick up a rock and pick up a brick and beat another human being in the head?” said Ron Book, chairman of the Miami-Dade County Homeless Trust. “It defies any rational thought process, but it’s also why we felt so strongly we had to do something.”

The trust has teamed with the local schools to develop a curriculum for elementary, middle and high schools teaching respect for the homeless.

Advocates for the homeless blame a society that they say shuns the homeless through laws that criminalize sleeping in parks, camping and begging.

“I think it reflects a lack of respect for the homeless that has reached such extreme proportions that homeless people aren’t viewed as people,” said Maria Foscarinis, executive director of the National Law Center on Homelessness and Poverty. I think it shows a lack of respect for ALL living beings.

Troubled by news photos showing those two 10-year-olds in Daytona Beach in prison suits and handcuffs, NOT ME! the National Coalition for the Homeless joined with AmeriCorps Vista to open speakers bureaus last fall in Key West, Jacksonville and Tallahassee. Nine more are planned in Florida. The idea is to educate students using speakers who are homeless or once lived on the streets, and the organization wants to open more bureaus nationwide, said Michael Stoops, executive director of the coalition.

The speakers are like George Siletti, who grew up in foster care and lived as a homeless drifter on and off for 25 years, starting at the age of 16. Now 51, Mr. Siletti said he took medication for schizophrenia and depression and lived in subsidized housing in Washington, addressing schools, churches and organizations about homelessness.

“I’ve had bottles thrown at me. I’ve had people spit on me, cursed me out for no reason,” said Mr. Siletti, who was attacked by teenagers in Fort Lauderdale as he and others slept under a bridge in the 1980s. “People seem to pick on the most vulnerable because they really think that they won’t do nothing.”

In Miami, students are learning from a weeklong curriculum and a DVD teaching that families are the fastest-growing segment of the homeless population. The curriculum requires younger students to make posters and older students to write essays about what they learned.

Legislation adding the homeless to hate-crime laws has been introduced in Alaska, California, Florida, Maryland, Massachusetts, Nevada, Ohio and Texas. Bills are also pending in Congress.

Mr. Messner, who is an imposing six feet, 240 pounds in his blue prison suit, talks about his crime with quiet resignation.

He and his friends were looking for a place to smoke marijuana near his home in the Daytona Beach area when they stumbled on Michael Roberts. Mr. Messner joined the attack and remembers hearing Mr. Roberts groan when he jumped on the log, but then Mr. Messner tried to pull his friends away, he said.

Confession: I, too, smoked weed as a youth. Never once did I feel like killing someone. There's more going on here, something pathological. Pot doesn't make you into a violent killer.

“He was making noises,” Mr. Messner said. “He asked one time why we was doing it to him. Why we was messing with him.”

A few days later, Mr. Roberts’s body was found. Mr. Messner agreed to a plea bargain and drew the lightest sentence of the four convicted in the attack.

He does not like prison much. No, shit, Sherlock. It's not a country club. He keeps busy doing yard work, exercising and reading.And I am stuck at work. Nice. He likes James Patterson novels and murder mysteries.No surprise here. He has dropped at least 40 pounds and developed a penchant for prison tattoos. One arm reads “thug” while the other reads “life.” His mother’s name, Lori, is on one hand. Mother of the Year, oh yeah.. On one arm is the same cross he wears around his neck, surrounded by the words “hope,” “faith” and “love.” Giving Christians everywhere a bad name.

“I’m not a killer. I know that,” Mr. Messner said. “A lot of people, they see this story and call us killers. I’m not a killer. I regret what I did. I wish I could take it back.” Uh. Yes, you are, Dumbshit. By anyone's definition.

A New Generation of Dating

2008-02-10T13:07:00.000-08:00

I can't resist sharing this bon mot from one of the more militant childfree web sites I frequent. It was written by a youngish guy, around 23, who just started dating a woman he met through Facebook. What would be YOUR first clue that this relationship is doomed? Hint: I've highlighted it for you to make it easier.--M

"I seem to have stumbled across something of a mixed blessing in recent weeks. A random girl started sending me messages on Facebook, having somehow stumbled across my profile. We chatted back and forth there for awhile, and we really seemed to be hitting it off, so we decided to go out.

Now, it's been about a week since we started dating, and there's a problem that I'd hoped would have started clearing up by now. Namely: whenever we're out together, we never seem to have much to talk about. Usually, it boils down to a routine of "how's your day/classes/family?" And neither of us seems able to spark more beyond that. Case in point, we're here in Starbucks waiting until 9:00 for a movie we're going to see, and we're both just sitting across from each other, typing at our laptops. It's been like this for the past two hours or so, only broken up by a phone call, and a handful of failed attempts at conversation, which ended up with each of us just looking around with nothing to say. I don't think we've exchanged ten words since I started typing this.

When we are doing something passive, like watching movies together, this isn't too bad, since we've got something to focus on. But when there isn't anything like that, there's just silence more often than not. We seemed to talk so fluidly online, but in person, all that just disappears, and I don't know why. Or what to do about it.

I mean, we both seem to like each other well enough, but at the same time, I don't want a girlfriend who I can't even hold a conversation with in person. What should I do? Just give it another week or two, to see if anything changes? I know it's early in the relationship yet, but Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and if the silence issue doesn't improve in the near future, I'd feel like an ass for breaking things off so close to that day. Regardless of the fact that it's early on.

Who the f**k brings a laptop on a date? But let's be fair here: It's not only the guy. Apparently, she brought hers as well! How these people will ever be able to connect, emotionally, physically or otherwise, is beyond me.

My Definition of Heaven

2008-01-28T08:18:00.001-08:00

Well at least ONE definition.

Yesterday, TK the Wonder Fiance and I went for a run in the South Mountain Reservation. He is training for the Boston Marathon in April so he wanted to do between 13-15. Me, I am currently training to go home and take a nap, so I just did 8 and it was decided that I would wait for him in the reservation's new doggie park.

It was cold, but not windy, and the sun was trying to peek out at times. I grabbed a chair facing the sun in the dog park. No sooner than when I had sat down, I was surrounded, surrounded I say, by doggies of all shapes and sizes! I had died and gone to Heaven! I was the most popular girl at the dance.

A handsome big black Schnauzer was checking me out to see if I brought any food (I hadn't), so he soon lost interest. An Australian Shepherd mix just lay down beside me. A gorgeous chocolate Lab, just my type, would not stop barking at me. It wasn't an angry bark, more like a bark to announce, "Here I am." His owner said he does that with everyone. Well, doesn't THAT just make me feel special! Eventually, as he got used to me and realized that I wasn't going to bite his throat, he eased off. I really wanted to cuddle with him but he didn't seem like the cuddly type.

But the best one was this little English Bulldog, who brought me the most disgusting-looking tennis ball I had ever seen. Ripped, torn, slimy, gobby--but he thought it was the most wonderful thing in the world. I threw it for him, he fetched it, and now we're BFF. I must've thrown that gross thing about 50 times but he was loving it.

Soon, it got cold so I went back to the car to warm up. TK came back in about 10 minutes and I told him that I had males begging me, kissing me, slobbering on me, and I must've fallen in love about five times. Being that he's known me for about five years, he understood completely what I meant.

The Wonderful World of Pilates and Other Stuff

2008-01-12T17:58:00.000-08:00

Took my first Pilates class last week and I lurve it!

I describe Pilates as a cross between yoga and and ab buster classes but better. Yoga is just way too mellow for me. I always feel like I want to take a nap--during class! Ab busters are great but they tend to focus on abs only, ignoring the many support muscles in the core. Pilates combines the best of both.

Pilates, like yoga, emphasizes stretching, thereby elongating the muscles, which in my opinion, is a much nicer look than short, tight muscles, especially in the legs. Plus, like yoga, it doesn't just isolate the larger muscle groups, it works on the supporting muscles as well. After just one class, my core felt stronger and tight. Had a little soreness but nothing out of the ordinary.

I am definitely hooked and what's nice is that my gym offers the classes for free. You gotta get there early, though, because these women (it's all women, which is strange) will fight you tooth and nail for a spot.
******************************************************************************Had my 6-month dental check-up today. 36 years and no cavities! Woohoo! I have my mother's good teeth, thank God. Just one thing, though. My dentist is keeping on eye on my top, left wisdom tooth. It's not impacted or anything but there's some irritation in the surrounding gum area because it's so hard to keep clean. Plus, I got gypped: I only have top wisdom teeth, I never developed bottoms! Isn't that strange? But what that means is that as I age, the top teeth are going to "look for" their bottom mates to mesh with. Because the bottoms are non-existent, the top tooth may start moving, causing all kinds of problems, pain, etc. If that happens, I will need to have it removed. Bummer. But I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-04T08:34:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to all my fans, all 2 of 'em! :-)

The best things about the holiday season, for me, were the days off, and sleep. Remember sleep? It was wondrous, except for the stomach bug I acquired on New Year's Eve. Didn't know how sick I was until I took my temp: it read 102! Yikes! I don't remember having a temp that high in years, possibly within the past decade. At any rate, by the afternoon of Jan. 1, it started to come down and I felt much better, better enough to go back to work on Jan. 2. Appetite still not back 100% but I've heard these things can take a few days. Could have been worse, right?

We also got some things done in the house which is good. And, we got our first oil bill, over $500. Yikes again! We keep our home at a conservative 65 to 70 degrees, so our only conclusion is that fuel oil is very expensive, which we knew already. But, as I keep telling T, there are only two-and-a-half more months of real winter. Hang in there!

I'm not big on making New Year's resolutions because if you're human and you break them, you acquire a sense of failure which benefits no one. I actually had a psychotherapist client a few years ago who suggested that one make a list of all the positive accomplishments in the past year. Much healthier, I think. I did make one resolution, though: To write more poetry and fiction in '08. Last year, someone gave me a book called "The Artist's Way" that includes exercises designed to help you unblock your creativity.

It's really been bugging me, my writer's block. One of the things that happened when I took up running seriously is that writing got pushed to back burner. This year, my 10th year of running for sport, I would like to strike a healthier balance.

On average, T & I run about 25 races a year, give or take. By our club standards, that's higher than average. In fact, most coaches recommend no more than 12 races a year. No wonder we're tired! Gonna be a hard habit to break, I will tell you that, because I also enjoy the camaraderie at these races.

Both of us DID secure 2007 USATF-NJ awards, though, in two categories, respectively. Our awards dinner is on Jan. 19.

Jingle Bells, Doggie Style!

2007-12-17T10:45:00.000-08:00

http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=1472693991

Now I Know Why I Like Staying Home

2007-12-06T18:31:00.001-08:00

Holy moly, do prententious, boring people like this really exist? Read it and weep (italics mine). (From Baristanet):

"Wife Does she not have a name? and I got a night away from the baby last night Why did you have said baby if you find you have a need to get away?. We go for a nice dinner at Bangkok Kitchen in Caldwell. Then we want to relax and have a cozy drink. We'd prefer not to go back to our couch at home, since that's our typical evening. Sucks being you, don't it?

"Instead we begin working our way down Bloomfield Avenue: Rutherford's: didn't want to drive out that far. And last time I went it was empty. Cloverleaf... no thanks. walk in and there's a 40/50 something alone Lord, help us! You'll be a 40/50 something someday, too, Dude! at a bar table hammered out of her mind. Watching a classic rock cover band. Trumpets...walk in, and it's brightly lit and someone sounded like they were slowly being tortured on the mic. I know all about torture. I'm reading this, right? Considered Cecere's: But we've never been and were hesitant to go on a whim. Geez, lighten up! Life is short. Walked to Egan's from there. Buy 2 way overpriced drinks and stand up against the bar and watch as young punks stare at my wife. Oh brother. Probably staring at her in disbelief that she was with you.

"Are there no lounges? Yes, in old folks' homes and hospitals. Tried the bar in Little Falls on Main Street one night, and that was a mistake, too. Methinks thou doth complain too much.

"Any suggestions would be wonderful. A long drive off a short pier? Maybe I need to open a lounge. Oh, that'll be a big hit. Just looking for a place to have a nightcap where we're not attacked by college kids, bad music or the town drunk. Or boring, pretentious assholes? I know...it's a lot to ask." You got THAT right.

Viva Las Vegas!

2007-12-06T10:51:00.001-08:00

Here is my wrap up of the Las Vegas Marathon on
Dec. 2:

First the good news--
1. This is the first time that I've ever been able to run the last 5 miles
of a marathon without stopping to walk.
2.Great weather--38 degrees at the start, low 50s at the finish. Sunny, no
wind, low humidity.
3. I ran pain-free the entire way. I did experience the requisite
stiffness at mile 21 but no PAIN, thanks to my masseuse and my
chiropracter.
4. I felt pretty good afterwards, too, just some normal quad stiffness and
very tired feet.
5. I am now a 4-state marathoner.

Chip time: 4:36. (Subtract another 5 mins. or so for a pitstop at mile
4--more on this below!) 34 out of 116 in my AG.

Now the bad--
I didn't run my best time due to MAJOR logistical problems at the start.
Tom & woke up at 4 AM and had every intention of lining up at the start with
time to spare. We finished breakfast at 5 and headed over to the start.
Start time was 6:07 AM. Talk about best laid plans! There were hordes of
people cramming themselves onto the trams that would take us over to
Mandalay Bay. Later, we found ourselves stuck in a HUGE mass of people with
no one to direct us to the start. When we did finally make it, again, no
one was there to tell us how to get inside the corral and line up. We--and
a couple hundred other folks--ended up squeezing through a chainlink fence.

We had both wanted to use the portajohn before the race but that was not to
be as we had only a minute to start time. So unfortunately, we had to wait
until mile 4 to use one and then had to wait online for at least 5 minutes!
ARGH!

The starting horn blasted and we were off---to a slow walk, accompanied by
fireworks and Elvis' "Viva Las Vegas" blaring over the loudspeakers.
Speaking of Elvis, there were hundreds of 'em, all trying to break the
world's record for the largest number of Elvis impersonators in a marathon.
You haven't lived until you've seen a Japanese Elvis.

The race was crowded until about the halfway mark. Althought the crowd
began to thin out, there was much confusion as to where the half-marathon
split began and the full marathon continued. Signage was poor or
non-existent and there was a lone police officer--without a
megaphone--telling runners which direction to proceed. We were fortunate in
that we were able to hear him but many others were not. Several folks we
spoke with afterwards said they got lost.

Tom & I ran together for the full half (another first!) and then decided to
do our own respective paces. At that point, I was feeling a bit tuckered so
I took a GU gel. Almost immediately, I felt a warm buzz course through my
body and somehow, I got my groove back. Both of us were able to make up for
past sins and ran negative splits.

Special thanks is due to my friend, Beth, who told me all about what to eat during
the week leading up to the marathon. It worked! Lots of white carbs,
iron-rich foods plus iron supplements, and a powdered sports drink called
Ultra Fuel.

One highlight:

About Mile 18, I passed a man wheeling what appeared to be 4 baby dolls in a
stroller. It turned out to be a physician who was attempting to break the
world's record for wheeling the largest number of children in a marathon.
(He did). Turned out he's the father of 8 and the "dolls" were his
4-month-old quadruplets. He had some assistance with diaper changes and
bottle feedings along the way. I did manage to beat him--barely. We
enjoyed watching him being interviewed on CNN later that evening.

In summary, this was certainly not one of the more scenic courses: Very
flat, boring scenery alternating desert with freeway, plus minimal crowd
support. Perhaps people in Las Vegas don't wake up before noon.

In my opinion, this is also not the race to do if you are seeking to qualify
for Boston. Very poor organization (the expo took forever to get to and was
poorly marked) and very crowded with about 16,000 runners. While the course
is mostly flat (the last 4 miles are actually downhill), the repetitive
terrain can actually be more tiring to your feet than a varied terrain.

So, where to next? Only 46 states to go!

Happy Turkey Day!

2007-11-21T07:57:00.000-08:00

Indians in mind, for one day

BY Mark Anthony Rolo

I usually try to keep a low profile when Thanksgiving comes around. As an American Indian, one has to be careful about admitting to the guilty pleasures of enjoying a turkey feast.

White liberals are shocked to learn that Indians could celebrate a holiday that is essentially a funeral for them -- "You're commemorating your own cultural death?" White conservatives like to use the holiday to make mention that "Indians are the ones who should be thankful for all we've done to civilize them."

Yes, considering that I spend most of the year thinking and writing about the plight of my Indian people, Thanksgiving is my day of rest.

And considering what a lousy cook I am, imagine my delight last year when I discovered "turkey in a bag" for under 20 bucks. It's loaded with seasoning and does its own basting right inside the bag. Just pop it in the oven and in a few hours, juicy turkey is served.

Of course, it's tough to enjoy the bird when you've got white liberal guests reminding you that sports mascots like the Cleveland Indians' Chief Wahoo continue to degrade and dehumanize "your people." And it's even harder to taste the tart canned cranberries when you've got a white conservative telling you to quit the victim game and "learn to pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

My favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal is the microwaveable stuffing. Again, no bother with having to add seasoning. But the plight of American Indians intrudes again. "How can you stuff your face knowing full well that the poverty rate on most reservations is among the highest in the country!"

"Is that so," I reply. "I never grew up on my reservation. But I have to tell you being the poorest family on the block on Milwaukee's south side, we were lucky to even have a turkey."

"More stuffing, please?"

White conservatives don't like to talk about genocide, land stealing and smallpox. "Please! With all the casino money you people are raking in, one would think you'd learn to forgive and forget."

That would seem to make perfect sense, except for the fact that I, like most other Indians in this country, are not members of those few tribes that rake in big casino bucks. "Anyone have room for pumpkin pie?"

Football truly rounds out the day of thanks. Naturally, you have to be discreet about which team you root for. Among white liberals, the Cowboys are not America's team. "I resent embracing the mythic reminder about how our rogue forefathers stole the West!" White conservatives do not really have much comment on the game, unless the Redskins are on the schedule. "What is so wrong with 'Redskins'? Can't you see how your people's pride and warrior skills are being honored?"

A few years ago, I was stuck out of town on business and I decided to slip into a restaurant to enjoy Thanksgiving in peace, among strangers. But as I sat there enjoying my turkey plate special alone, I got to thinking that maybe I should talk about the Indian plight during the holiday.

"After all," I said to the waitress, "Thanksgiving is the only time white people think about Indians."

(Mark Anthony Rolo is a member of the Bad River Band of Ojibwe in Wisconsin.)

Happy Birthday to Me!

2007-11-16T07:57:00.000-08:00

Yes, today is my 50th birthday and I have the sudden urge to read AARP Magazine. Not really, just kidding. Please stop sending them to me.

So far, it's been a pretty good one and it's only 11 AM. My brother and SIL are taking us out tomorrow night, I've gotten lots of cards (both real and ecards), a co-worker is taking me out to lunch at a French restaurant and oh, I'm engaged!

LOL! Yes, I am thrilled. No, I didn't expect it, especially at my ripe old age. Wow. My engagment ring, while beautiful, does not fit, as I have skinny piano fingers. But we're taking it for adjustment this weekend. (What IS that little piece called that they insert into the ring to make it fit?) I ALWAYS have a problem with rings and bracelets fitting.

We will most likely get married in the summer, probably at home since neither one of us have any money left after buying a house. But that's what we want, small and sweet, just family and close friends. All right, maybe some dogs. :-)

In fact, I joked to Tom that we should tell all our friends that we're getting married so we can have puppies. LOL!

So far, unless you're reading this blog, I have only told my best girlfriend and my siblings. I will only tell select co-workers because the women around here go BATSO if theere's a hint of an engagement or if someone brings in a baby. (No danger of THAT happening!)

So, that's it, on this sunny, crisp November 16 day.

I am very happy. I don't get too many days like this one.

From a Trekkie Friend's Blog:

2007-11-14T06:57:00.000-08:00

Autographed Star Trek Phasers, Communicators to Go On Sale Next Week

http://gizmodo.com/gadgets/high_end-memorabilia/autographed-star-trek-phasers-communicators-to-go-on-sale-next-week-322213.php

"A serious Star Trek fan and collector died recently, and an anonymous tipster sent us pictures of the Star Trek memorabilia he left behind. Here's a heads up to dedicated Trekkies everywhere: These items will be appearing on eBay next week, so check out the gallery on the next page; maybe there's something you'd care to bid on.

"There are prop replica phasers, communicators and a pinball machine in the lot, all in pristine condition, and some are autographed by William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and Patrick Stewart. There's no information about pricing, but these precious artifacts probably won't be cheap."

Wow. Just. Wow.

FIOS and "The Purge"

2007-11-12T18:25:00.000-08:00

When we moved, we decided to get Verizon FIOS because 1. it's cheaper than Comcast and 2. it's the fastest Internet service you can get, short of having a T1 connection (like I have at work).

So, I come home last Friday night and the phone and TVs work great but the computer? Don't even go there. Everytime I try to connect to the Internet, it freezes up on me. WTF? This is what we paid for? Why didn't the installer stick around to make sure everything was working? Grrrr! This kind of shit burns me up.

I called Verizon and I wait about 25 minutes to speak with a tech. Finally, Ed comes on the line and I tell him my problem. To make a long story short, we run all kinds of diagnostics on it and it appears that it is not Verizon FIOS that's the problem but my computer. I give Ed props, though. He stayed on the line with me for about an hour and went over everything before he ruled out Verizon. Basically, he told me that my problem is "outside of the realm of Verizon."

OK. What next? I found an old business card from one of those Mom & Pop tech companies (like Geek Squad). I call 'em up and someone, Omar, comes out the next day, a Saturday. Diagnosis? Corrupted file(s) and not enough memory to run XP. (Why didn't Microsoft inform me of that when I loaded the XP?) He had my computer back to me on Sunday! I was VERY impressed. And it only cost me $210. Hey, it's cheaper than buying a new machine. That was the good news.

The bad news is that my hard drive had to be virginized. That is, EVERYTHING had to come off and be reinstalled. That means all my docs, pix, whatever. He said if he put them back on and one or more them was infected with a virus, I could have the same problem again. He did double my RAM, though, to 510, which is optimal for XP. You would not BELIEVE how fast this thing is now. BF & I always used to complain how slow it was and I was always running Spybot to remove adware, shareware, whatever. It would work for awhile and then be slow as molasses the next week.

As it turns out, I was of sound enough mind to either save my photos to disc or Snapfish so nothing of importance is gone. I had to recreate a couple of BF's business forms but that's about it. I'm sure, down the road, I'll be looking for a document and then remember, "oh yeah," but dems da breaks. I am loving the fast 'puter!

Apparently, I Don't Deserve a First Name

2007-11-09T06:32:00.001-08:00

In short, we have moved into our new home and we are loving it. It's soooo surreal, wrapping my brain around the fact that I am a home/property owner!

Tom has already painted the dining room and it looks gorgeous (pictures promised). It's now crimson with white trim which nicely offsets the built-in white China cabinets.

Yes, moving is a bitch, the physical and mental aspects of it. As bad as I thought dealing with mortgage folks was, moving ranks even lower in the depths of Hell.

Gradually, things are being put away into their rightful places, furnishings are being put together, old grandma curtains are coming down to be replaced by new ones. This weekend will be spent raking the lawn, hanging up pictures, and buying a few things like new bathroom towels, curtains and such. It's coming together.

You're probably wondering about the title of this post so here it is. Yesterday, I arrived home and found an envelope addressed to me in my mailbox. But it was just my last name in bold caps, as if I was a private in the Army. It was my first property tax bill! (Do I dare have it framed?) I was a little put out by this being that our taxes are included in our monthly mortgage payment. A quick call to my mortgage rep assured me that I was NOT being billed twice, it was just a record that I should file away with all my other pertinent papers.

But, yanno? It would have been nice for the Township of West Orange to convey that. And, while we're on the subject, a welcome note would have been nice. Even a friggin' form letter would have been an improvement. How about, "Dear____: Welcome to West Orange! We hope you enjoying living here, blah-blah-blah..." something like that. And how about including my first name on the correspondence? Bureaucrats! They're everywhere.

This Is It!

2007-10-30T12:48:00.000-07:00

Just got word from my attorney that my closing is Nov.1 at 3 PM. This it it, folks. I am signing my life away!

I'm excited but scared. I know that's normal but I really DO hate signing papers. I mean, I know what it's like for buying a car so I can just imagine the papers I have to sign for a house.

I am glad that all this jazz will be over. But then I've got moving to which to look forward; that takes place Nov. 5. We're trying to be good, packing up a little bit day by day. Plus, we don't have to be out in one day because we decided to pay an extra month of rent for that very reason. Sound advice from my friend, Deborah, in North Carolina. Thanks, Deb, I owe ya one!

Boy, will I need a BIG DRINK after this!

And Away We Go!

2007-10-27T11:44:00.000-07:00

We should be in our new home on Nov. 5, God willing.

Have to share one bit of funniness with ya'all. Tom, the quintessential packrat, has taken to retrieving just about EVERYTHING I'm throwing out, saying, "Honey, what are you throwing THIS out for?" or "You're not throwing THIS away, are you?"

Yes, I am because I don't want our new house to resemble Sanford & Son. But, he replies, our new house is four times the size! Yes, and that means that it can hold four times the junk and I am not having any of it.

I think I'll save the real purging for when he's not home. :-)

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{SIGH}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Current Mood: amused

Bush's Mistake

2007-10-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

I have no clue who Ed Barr is but he wrote this powerful piece that someone shared with me today:

President Bush did make a bad mistake in the war on terrorism. But the mistake was not his decision to go to war in Iraq. Bush's mistake came in his belief that this country is the same one his father fought for in WWII. It is not.

Back then, they had just come out of a vicious depression. The country was steeled by the hardship of that depression, but they still believed fervently in this country. They knew that the people had elected their leaders, so it was the people's duty to back those leaders.

Therefore, when the war broke out the people came together, rallied behind, and stuck with their leaders, whether they had voted for them or not or whether the war was going badly or not.

And war was just as distasteful and the anguish just as great as it is today. Often there were more casualties in one day in WWII than we have had in the entire Iraq war. But that did not matter. The people stuck with the President because it was their patriotic duty. Americans put aside their differences in WWII and worked together to win that war.

Everyone from every strata of society, from young to old pitched in. Small children pulled little wagons around to gather scrap metal for the war effort. Grade school students saved their pennies to buy stamps for war bonds to help the effort.

Men who were too old or medically 4F, lied about their age or condition trying their best to join the military. Women doubled their work to keep things going at home. Harsh rationing of everything from gasoline to soap, to butter was imposed, yet there was very little complaining.

You never heard prominent people on the radio belittling the President. Interestingly enough in those days there were no fat cat actors and entertainers who ran off to visit and fawn over dictators of hostile countries and complain to them about our President. Instead, they made upbeat films and entertained our troops to help the troops' morale. And a bunch even enlisted!

And imagine this: Teachers in schools actually started the day off with a Pledge of Allegiance, and with prayers for our country and our troops!

Back then, no newspaper would have dared point out certain weak spots in our cities where bombs could be set off to cause the maximum damage. No newspaper would have dared complain about what we were doing to catch spies.

A newspaper would have been laughed out of existence if it had complained that German or Japanese soldiers were being 'tortured' by being forced to wear women's underwear, or subjected to interrogation by a woman, or being scared by a dog or did not have air conditioning.

There were a lot of things different back then. We were not subjected to a constant bombardment of pornography, perversion and promiscuity in movies or on radio. We did not have legions of crackheads, dope pushers and armed gangs roaming our streets.

No, President Bush did not make a mistake in his handling of terrorism. He made the mistake of believing that we still had the courage and fortitude of our fathers. He believed that this was still the country that our fathers fought so dearly to preserve.

It is not the same country. It is now a cross between Sodom and Gomorra and the land of Oz. We did unite for a short while after 9/11, but our attitude changed when we found out that defending our country would require some sacrifices.

We are in great danger. The terrorists are fanatic Muslims. They believe that it is okay, even their duty, to kill anyone who will not convert to Islam. It has been estimated that about one-third or over three hundred million Muslims are sympathetic to the terrorists cause...Hitler and Tojo combined did not have nearly that many potential recruits.

So...we either win it - or lose it - and you ain't gonna like losing.

America is not at war. The military is at war. America is at the mall.

Ed Barr

It's Time Once Again for Ja Da!

2007-10-24T09:22:00.001-07:00

http://jeffcovey.net/tmp/trazan/

Bugsies on the Water (from Oregon Collection)

2007-10-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

We Interrupt Your Regular Program...

2007-10-14T08:02:00.000-07:00

Do you remember what the weather was like last Sunday, Oct. 7? I do. To refresh your memory, that the was day that they cancelled the Chicago Marathon halfway through, where someone died on the course. When the temps hit 92 degrees at noon. I don't even know what the humidity was but it was way up there.

Well, that was also the day that I, and some of my running club buds, were doing the Long Beach Island 18 Miler, a race I've done 4 years in a row with no consequence. My goal was to beat my best time of 2:47. I finished in 3:08. That should tell you something, but it doesn't tell you the whole story which is here, taken from the Essex Running Club web board:

"I should add that I felt fine during the race and at the finish. Yes, it was very hot but as my time attests (Yikes! That's slower than my Philly Marathon pace!), I wasn't trying to be a hero today. I took walk breaks after every 3 miles and around mile 9, I just wanted to finish.

"After the race, I hooked up with Tom at the post-race party at the finish area. I collected my stuff and changed into dry clothes in the bathroom. It was while I was changing that I began to feel well, weird. I didn't feel as if I was going to lose consciousness but I definately did NOT feel like myself. I knew I had to get outside and get fresh air. I found a bench in the shade and lied down. Then it hit me: I had the absolute worst calf cramps I had ever had in my life! So bad, that I could not move my legs without horrific pain. Then my arms began to go numb. I was VERY scared. Nothing like this had ever happened to me before.

"I saw Tom come out of the men's room and I yelled to him. I told him that something was not right (I think I scared the bejesus out of him). He ran to get the medics.

"An EMT guy came over and immediately put me at ease. He said I was going to be all right, I was just having lactic acid build up. He kept telling to try to calm down and take deep breaths. It was decided (not by me!) that I should be taken by ambulance to the hospital for observation. Once in the ambulance, I was put on oxygen and within minutes my legs began to feel better and the feeling came back into my arms.

"At the hospital, everything checked out fine: blood pressure, temperature (it was actually a bit BELOW normal). I was told that I suffered from mild heat exhaustion due to loss of electrolytes and build up of lactic acid. They kept asking me if I had any Gatorade on the course. I told them that took Gatorade and water every chance I could get. The problem was that the Gatorade wasn't being offered until about mile 10 or 11 or so! It really should have been made available from the beginning, especially in temps like we had yesterday.

"I should also add that for the first 3 or so miles, there were major problems with the water stations. One station actually ran out of cups, another had those spring water containers with the push button. Do you know how long it takes to fill cups with those? Runners had to actually stop and wait while cups were being filled, crowding the water stations. The organizers should have been better prepared, especially on a hot day like that.

"When I got to the ER, almost all of the units were being occupied by other runners! One RN actually remarked: "Whose bright idea was it to hold an 18 mile race today?" From what I was told, there were people there in a lot worse shape than me; one was brought in with a fever of 105, another couldn't even remember his name. I hope they all made it out OK.

"After being released, Tom & I hitched a ride back via ambulance to St. Francis where the awards ceremony and post-race banquet took place. I stepped out of the ambulance and I felt like Paris Hilton being released from jail: I was immediately surrounded by volunteers who began clapping the minute I walked through the door! I never dreamed my red carpet moment would be like this.

"I plan to write a letter of praise and appreciation to the EMT staff. They were terrific. They responded quickly and put my mind at ease and were just all-around nice folks. Thanks to Tom for not freaking out, thanks to Mick for his patience and to everyone (Lynne, Catherine) who called and expressed their concern. I am feeling 100 percent better today (just suffering the humiliation of my horrible finishing time)."

What a Long, Strange Trip It's Been!

2007-09-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

In a nutshell: Yes, we bought a house!

Is it the house we were orginally going to put a bid on? No.

Here's the story:

After we lost the house in Verona (the one where another buyer bid over the asking price), we began looking again, this time in Bloomfield. I found a gorgeous (or so I thought) Victorian on the Weichert web site. Again, pictures lie. You think I would have learned my lesson by now, but nooo!

Inside, the house needed mucho work. The kitchen was a mess and the backyard, which was described as "big and wonderful," was actually neither and sloped off clifflike into an abyss. Also, smallish rooms, choppy layout. Not for us.

Then we looked at 2 houses on the same street in Bloomfield. Neither one was really to our liking. Rooms were smallish, one had practically no kitchen cabinets, and the houses were very close together.

As we had gone running that morning, we were tired and planned to go home to take a nap. That's when our Realtor called. She found a great 3 BR Cape Cod in Roseland in a wonderful neighborhood in our price range. Sounded too good to be true but we were off.

She was right: The house WAS adorable. The neighborhood, grand. I have a soft spot in my heart for Roseland, having grown up there. We even met the owners, a 60-ish couple who were retiring and who had lived in the house for 35 years. The piece de resistance was their gorgeous Lab mix, Willie, who was the size of small pony but gentle as ever.

I recognized the value in this house. It was very well cared for, just need minor cosmetic work. The yard was cool; after all, Willie liked it and he was bigger than any dog we would ever get. I was ready to put in an offer the next night.

But something didn't sit right with Tom. He was bothered by the fact that this house had only one bathroom--and it was on the first floor. "You know how many times I get up at night to use the bathroom!" he said. Not to worry, those of you who are reading this. He doesn't have cancer or diabetes (he was checked for both). It's just the way he is. He gets very thirsty at night and drinks a lot of water. I know this is TMI for many folks but I wanted to put everyone's mind at rest.

So, we'll put in a second bath, I replied weakly, hearing the sound of an imaginary cash register going "Ka-ching!" inside my head. More money to spend. But, we'd be buying a house in Roseland. And the taxes were HALF of what Verona's and the surrounding towns are.

And then God intervened. We were coming back from a race on Sunday and we were driving through West Orange. I hadn't thought to look for a house in West Orange. Not that I have anything against it, it just hadn't occurred to me. I always mistakenly assumed West Orange was full of split-level Levittown horrors and Mc Mansions. I was wrong.

We saw lots of For Sale signs in West Orange and Tom suggested we go home, shower up and hit some of them. I noted a couple of the addresses and went home to check them out on the Net. Son of a gun, there was one on a dead end street, no less, in our price range: a 4 BR, 2 full bath Cape, with a nice yard with a deck, nice-looking photos of the rooms (I know, I know). Off we went.

Well, Tom fell in love before I did. I just couldn't wrap my brain around living in West Orange, forgive me. But the more I walked around, the more I warmed up to it. The rooms were very spacious and there were 4 of them! Two full baths, one up, one down. Fugly 1950s tiles but in good condition. Kitchen was in good shape, with plenty of knotty pine cabinets and a deck leading out to a great yard with a dog run(nicer than the yard in Roseland). Spacious living room, dining room with built-in, catty-cornered China cabinets (my fave thing about the whole house!)

In fact, there were LOTS of built-ins throughout. Someone, somewhere must have been a carpenter. Basement is partially finished and dry as a bone. And a workshop for Tom!

To make this very long story short, we put in a bid $15,000 less than the asking price and we got it! The owner is already in her new home and is desperate to sell.

I just got word that the attorney review has been completed and I scheduled the inspection for Wednesday. I pray they don't find any surprises!

We close in November...yikes. But it's a kinda good "Yikes!"

Will You Be My Lawfully Wedded House?

2007-09-17T07:48:00.000-07:00

Do you take this Cape Cod to be your lawfully wedded house, in (financial) sickness and in health?

Well, it's nitty-gritty time here at Martta's World. Tonight I am putting an offer on the house in Verona that we both like. I understand that there are 2 other offers pending. My offer is for about $10,000 less because if it comes to negotiation, I want the seller to pay for a French drain in the basement.

We looked at another comparable home in Verona but it needed more work, especially the kitchen. Plus, it was listed as a 3BR but the third BR was actually the basement that was converted into a BR! Not fair guys, especially since you also list a basement. You can't have it both ways, it's either a basement or a bedroom. So, we were put off by that.

We wanted to see another cute Cape Cod in Caldwell that was supposed to have an open house on Sunday. We got there and the sign said "Open House Cancelled." Bummer! Just as we were walking away, the owner drove up. We explained why we were there and he said, "My wife wanted to fix a few things up before we open the house. Call the Realtor if you want to see it during the week."

Now this tells me one of two things.

1. His wife wants to hide the bodies.
2. They are not truly motivated to sell.

If they were truly motivated (especially in this market!), he would have invited us in to look around. This tells us that there's something else going on there. My Realtor agreed. So, we're not going to bother going back. It's also a mite higher than we wanted to spend.

I will keep you posted about our offer. Send pixie dust, please!

I Think I'm in Love!

2007-09-12T17:59:00.000-07:00

With a house, you sillies. Don't get all excited! :-)

Anyhoo, we looked at 3 more houses tonight after work. One in Verona, one in West Caldwell that I've had my eye on for awhile, and one in Caldwell.

First stop: Verona. This is where I fell in love. Adorable cottage-style Cape Cod on quaint street. The listing said 2BR but the second BR is actually a tandem bedroom which means it's a bedroom with an attached space. Perfect for a couple with no kids (us) and perfect for a computer/trophy room.

The house is in terrific condition, everything from the kitchen (recently remodeled), the roof (10 years old), the exterior (freshly painted). Nice yard, flat and deep, perfect for a dawg. Fireplace, clean unfinished basement, screened-in porch in the back, nice details like wall molding, two-car garage. All in all, move in ready. The only thing we'd do is rip up the fugly old wall-to-wall carpeting (we both hate wall-to-wall, especially other people's!) There are hardwood floors underneath.

Really, the nicest one we've seen so far. So nice that I am thinking of making an offer. The price is right: $399,000 but my Realtor says that because it's new to the market, I have very little wiggle room as far as negotiation. Especially since it's in such good condition. I have 2 more to look (they're not on till this weekend). Tom is on the same page as me about this one.

Second stop: Caldwell, a 3BR colonial priced at $375,000. The. worse. one. I've. seen. yet. Not only a handyman's special, but dirty and chock full of crap piled EVERYWHERE. Granted, the people are getting ready to move but my Gawd! I had to walk sideways through some rooms because there was so much junk. Moldy ceiling in the bathroom, Toilet looked as if it hadn't been cleaned since the year 1. Kitchen as old as my grandma. I didn't even want to see the basement. Next!

Third stop: West Caldwell. The things that attracted me to this house were the unusual architecture. The house is set back from the street and has one of those low-maintenance yards with lots of flowers, very little actual lawn, which we like.
Plus the driveway is bookended by two gorgeous stone walls. We both like stone.

The other thing I like is that the front of the house sports a huge balcony that stretches from one end to the other. Perfect for entertaining.

The inside, however, was disappointing. Lowish ceilings and a very cramped feeling. This is due, in part, to the fact that the family living there has humongous furnishings which dwarf the rooms. Also, the layout of the house doesn't flow well. Most of the land is in the front of the year, therefore there is no real backyward for a dawg.

This house is priced at $449,000, higher than my budget but I figured that because it's been on the market since May, there'd be some wiggle room. But, it's a moot point anyway since it's not for us.

So, the Realtor is previewing another Cape for me tomorrow in Caldwell. It's priced at $429,000 but the neighborhood is sweet. She'll let me know how it compares to the one I love.

Then there's another one in Verona that doesn't open till Sunday, a small, brick, 3BR ranch priced at $399,000. Looks cute from the outside but you can never tell.

I feel this much closer to buying a home now. Will keep ya'all posted!

Realty Reality Check

2007-09-09T16:14:00.001-07:00

Yes, the Happy House Hunting has begun and I've learned a few things this weekend:

1. Pictures lie.
2. Listing Realtors often lie.
3. Anything under $400,000 in suburban Essex County is either a fixer-upper or very small.

My Realtor (who is also a running pal of mine) warned me about this, telling me that I wasn't going to find something really nice for under $400,000, at least not right now. Things may change in a few months as prices continue to stabilize or drop. I thought she was exaggerating. How bad can they be?, I mused.

Pretty bad. House #1 we looked at was in Little Falls (LF), part of Passaic County where taxes are a mite lower. I am still familiarizing myself with LF so I had to do a Mapquest search to see where this particular house was located. Turns out it was near both Route 46 and the Passaic River. NOT a good omen.

From the outside, the house looked OK: well cared for, nice front porch (we both LOVE porches). The street didn't really knock our socks off (it was down the street from some sort of gated foundry, ugh). But we were there, let's start the tour.

The listing said that the house needed a new kitchen. What it failed to mention was that the house need "A" kitchen. That's right: this house had NO kitchen but a room with a stove and a separate tiny room with a sink. A few cabinets were scattered about but to call this a kitchen would be a stretch. Plus, it was carpeted. Yucky-poo. Why the F would you carpet a kitchen?

The rest of the house was rather ramshackle, in need of mucho work. There were indications that some the ceilings had leaked at one time.

The unfinished basement had to be designed by midgets. I am 5'2" and my head almost grazed the ceiling. There was no way to raise it; it would have to be used strictly for storage. Not for us.

House #2 was in Verona and also needed mucho work, every room. How can someone who owns a home let it go to seed like that? I could never understand it. It's your friggin' investment for crying out loud!

I guess if someone was very handy and had a lot of time and money to kill, they could make this a somewhat decent place to live. Still, I see a price reduction in its future.

House #3, also in Verona, was adorable but very small (2BR). Perfect, however, for a single gal or guy who doesn't want to do the condo route. Nice quiet street. But those taxes? Ouch! Over $5,000 on 2BR house? You gotta be shittin' me!

House #4, in Verona as well. The Realtor gushed on and one about this one, saying that we MUST see it, it's in a better neighborhood, blah-blah-blah, only needs cosmetic work. The minute we saw it from the outside, we know it we weren't going to like it. It was part of a (yuck) development, Verona's answer to Long Island's Levittown. Very boxy, no porch, not even a portico. Boring, boxy layout inside, horrible ceilings (looks like structural damage), disgusting wall-to-wall carpet buckling in places. Very depressing.

So, there you have it. Week one of house hunting. What I've learned from all this is that I will have to go up in price a bit. The bottom line is that I am either going to spend the money on fixing up a handyman's special or on buying a house that's a mite pricier but has less things to fix up. I vote for the second option. We don't mind doing some cosmetic work but when it comes to structural stuff, no way. Plus there's always room for negotiation, especially in this market.

Next weekend: the Caldwells.

What If Labs Went on Strike?

2007-09-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

The headline story in The New York Times might read like this:

Dog parks across the New York metro area, normally bustling, were nearly empty today as a group of New York City Labbies began a two-day strike.

Beef, It's What's for Dinner (And Lunch)

2007-08-20T08:38:00.000-07:00

Just got back from visiting my brother and his wife in Oregon, had a blast, will post pix here as soon as I upload 'em. Took lots and lots of pix of Mount Hood (we were 7,000 feet above sea level), a really neat waterfall, the beach (nothing like the Jersey shore), and a very cool county fair.

And we ate. It seems we ate non-stop and we ate things that I normally don't eat at home: handfuls of delicious pistachio nuts, real ice cream (not frozen yogurt) almost on a daily basis, real butter and beef, lots of it. This IS the West after all. My brother and Tom kept telling me to relax, you're on vacation. Eventually, I acquiesced. There was no fighting it. I did tell Tom that I was not going anywhere NEAR a scale until after I had been home for a week.

I lied. I got on the scale the night we got home and to my surprise, I WAS ONE POUND LIGHTER THAN WHEN I LEFT! How the heck did THAT happen? Tom pointed out to me that we did run almost every day that we were there. In fact, I ran more miles during the past week that I have all year, being that we are gearng up for a fall marathon. (On Sunday ran 13+ miles as well). So, that's probably the explanation for it.

I tell ya one thing. If I trained in Oregon with all those hills and at the higher altitudes, I'd kick butt in Jersey. I don't have any races till Sept. 2 and I am anxious to see if all this hill training translates into faster times. If it does, it will be solid proof that I need to ramp up the mileage and hill work if I want to see personal records (PRs).

Anyhoo, the higher altitudes made us both very sleepy the first couple of days. Naturally, as soon as got used to them, it was time to come home!

Some cool surprises: Watching kids throw snowballs on Mount Hood (in August!) The best peaches I have ever had in my life. Ditto for fresh rye bread. How big and good-looking my nephews got (21 and 25, respectively). How dog-friendly Portland is. Lying on the beach and looking at fog-covered mountains.

Well, more on this later, when I post the pix.

Some good news while I was gone: my house closed!
The bad news: We are being raped by the government (both state and federal) in the form of capital gains taxes, most likely to the tune of $20,000 or thereabouts (don't know yet how much). And yes, it's rape from where I sit.

Every time you try to get ahead in this state/country, there's Big Brother with his hand out. I'd like to go back to 1911, before income taxes. Of course, my house would not be worth as much then! :-)

BUDK--The Cutting Edge of Catalogs

2007-08-03T08:15:00.000-07:00

My BF & I get a lot of catalogs, everything from Victoria's Secret (sometimes 3 a week, no lie) to pet products(even though we are currently dogless, boo-hoo!) to runners' products (no surprises there), to those that feature all kinds of kooky household gadgets. But I have to say that the one that wins the prize for the most bizarre is The BUDK Catalog. The strangest part is why my BF's name appears on it.

The BUDK catalog features everything your local sword collector, knife aficianado, white supremacist, neo-Nazi, psychopath would want. Here are some samples of what you can order from BUDK:

A semi-automatic C02 pistol
A belt buckle that has a nickel coin slot and says, "Insert Coin, unzip, shake well, guaranteed action, internal use only."
A Confederate Flag belt buckle
A full-size German WWII 1942 helmet with your choice of insignia, including the swastika
An SS Officer's Dagger circa 1933 imprinted with the motto, "Meine Ehre Heisst Treue" (My honor is truth).
A leather bullwhip
A Grim Reaper Clock
Lock picks
Stun guns
Various types of battle axes
A Medieval Barbarian War Helmet
An M-16 Air Assault Rife with BB bullets
Precision handcuffs "for all your law enforcement needs"

Well, at least they're all made in the good ol' USA. BUDK is owned by one Clint H. Kadel of Moultrie, GA, right in the heart of the Bible Belt (although I didn't see any Bibles for sale). There's a bunch of legalese on the order form, exempting BUDK from any indemnity for improper use of any of the products. But we know that only bonafide collectors would order this stuff. Right.

Good for Mr. Kadel. Where else can you go for a 16-gauge chain mail shirt to "protect your hide from the hordes?" Or a Lord of the Rings Battle Axe of Gimli that lets you be "ready for battle at a moment's notice?"

Granted, I have to admit there were somethings I liked in the catalog and would consider ordering (but I shudder to think what kind of catalog list I'd end up on). There's the Medieval chess set, the five-pointed star pewter pendants, the Medieval shields, the silver dragon necklace, the Viking Horn helmet (not historically accurate, I know, but cool as hell!), and a tiny hand-carved coffin for all your keepsakes. It WOULD be kinda fun to open my mail with a battle axe.

And, if I was single, I would always keep a copy of The BUDK catalog on my coffee table to help ward off predatory suitors.

RIP, Chief

2007-07-15T13:57:00.001-07:00

It’s a sad time over here at Martta’s World. I found out last week that my beloved, God dog, Chief, had to be put down due to heart failure.

No one saw this coming. I spoke to my brother in Oregon about a month ago, told him how much we were looking forward to coming out to visit in August and especially to see Chiefy. My boyfriend, Tom, has never met Chief but based on all of my tales and descriptions, was eager to do so. And then this.

My brother said he noticed that something was up about two weeks ago. Chief seemed particularly lethargic on his walks. He no longer looked forward to jaunts in the park. At first, my brother chalked it up to the heat wave they've been having out west. But it was a lot more serious than that and there was nothing anyone could do.

Of course, animals can't tell you "where it hurts" and by the time we find out they are sick, it is often too late.

He was 8. Even by Lab standards, that’s not very old. Middle-aged maybe (56 in people years) but not a true senior citizen.

Anyway, no matter how old he was, he was a special dog. Beautiful, intelligent, compassionate, playful. Rare to find all these characteristics in a person, let alone a dog.

I remember one time I was helping my sister-in-law in the garden. There was this particularly stubborn root from a small, dead tree that, try as we might, could not pull out of the ground. Chief saw that we were struggling, came over to help dig, and it came out in no time.

The last time I saw Chief, he was just 2, a mere pup. He thought that his soggy rope toy was the most wonderful thing in the world and he just had to share it with anyone who walked through the door. We were all glad when the chewing stage was over, however.

Rest in peace, Chiefster. You will be missed.

Gee, What a Surprise!

2007-06-29T11:59:00.000-07:00

Wow, Islamic fundies were behind this? Who woulda thunk it?

Breaking News from ABCNEWS.com:

SEVERAL EXPLOSIONS WERE PLANNED USING MULTIPLE VEHICLES BY ISLAMIC EXTREMISTS IN LONDON BOMB PLOT, U.S. AND BRITISH OFFICIALS TELL ABC NEWS

A No Win Situation

2007-06-27T03:02:00.000-07:00

I arrived back from the local pub last week to discover that I had been followed. My apartment was full of men of different shapes and sizes. There was a shortish, plump one with thinning hair who was talking agitatedly into a cell phone and a taller one with a pointy goatee just standing around quietly surveying the place.

A skinny guy with ill-fitting glasses sat quietly on the couch reading Inca Gold by Clive Cussler. There was a very tall, very good-looking blonde one with blue eyes that crinkled at the corners when he smiled. That was my boyfriend, Win. This made it sort of difficult to break up with him but what else was new? I have been trying to break up with him for six months now.

The plump guy had come over to sell me some stocks. It turned out, however, that he had brought along the wrong briefcase. Instead of the one that contained his stock portfolios and calculator, he had brought one containing some French ticklers and K-Y jelly. He was jabbering on the phone to his mother, asking her to please, please look in his bedroom for the correct valise.

Mr. Goatee was just there to offer the stock salesman moral support although I failed to see how a guy with a mismatched socks and a “Same Shit, Different Day” T-shirt could offer support of any kind to anyone.

The guy on the couch claimed I had borrowed one of his Cussler books, but had failed to return it. I told him that he must be mistaken, I don’t like Clive Cussler, never read even one of his books, and he must have me mixed up with someone else. But no, he was very insistent that it was me who was pillaging his great literary collection and then proceeded to go into great detail about the plot of Iceberg, the book presumably in my possession.

At this point, I thought I would die but I figured trying to get my boyfriend’s attention so that we could have “the talk” would buy me a reprieve.

“Honey, I need to talk with you.”

“Uh, I’m kinda busy,” he said.

“With what?”

“This guy was telling me about some great stock portfolios.”

“But he doesn’t even have the right briefcase.”

“I know but we’re taking a ride over to his mom’s house. Wanna come with?”

“No, thanks, I’m set for French ticklers. You go. We’ll talk later.”

During the past six months, Win and I had grown further and further apart, the irony being that physically, he was always here. But whenever I wanted to talk with him about ending the relationship, he was always watching something important on TV, fiddling with his computer, on his way out the door or, worse yet, doing something incredibly nice like bringing me fresh sunflowers. And then, I would forget why I wanted to break up with him.

A delicious hot and spicy smell of onions, garlic and peppers was emanating from my kitchen. Upon investigating, I found still another man stirring what appeared to be a pot of chili. I was hungry and went to take a taste. Instead, I was harshly slapped.

“Don’t touch!”

“How dare you! This is MY kitchen!”

“That may be but your cooking sucks,” he said. “Ever notice how your boyfriend always seems to disappear around dinner time?”

I couldn’t argue there. Probably the only way we’d ever have dinner together was if we were held at gunpoint. I decided to take a hot bubble bath instead.

I lit a candle, lay back in the tub, the aroma of mangoes filling my nostrils, the steam cleansing the impurities and assaults of the day, my toes tracing the pink tiles on the wall. I fell asleep and dreamed that someone was caressing my shoulders and feeding me chocolate-covered caramels while I lay in a grassy field somewhere in Vermont. In the distance, a cow’s low, plaintive moan could be heard. It seemed to grow more melodic as time went by.

Awakening slowly, I realized that it was not a cow I was hearing at all, but a saxophone. Three men I had never seen before had decided to join me in the tub, one of them serenading me softly with Harlem Nocturne.

“What are you all doing here? Can’t I get any peace?”

“Sorry, but you asked us here,” said the one directly to my left, holding an empty box of Russell Stover. He had way too many piercings and tattoos for my liking.

“Why would I do that?”

“To avoid the unpleasant task of breaking up,” said the masseuse, who was not much to look at but had the most amazing hands.

“I’ve been meaning to get around to that…”

“But you haven’t,” said the chocolate bearer. “So now you must put up with some minor inconveniences. It could be worse, I might add.”

“I just want my life back!” I shouted.

Just then Win walked into the bathroom, seemingly oblivious to the fact that I was sharing a tub with three naked men.

“Your candle went out,” he said. “Let me relight it for you.”

“Win, sit down a sec. I need to talk to you.”

“Hon, can it wait until later? My hard drive just crashed and I gotta get to the computer store before it closes. I promise, we’ll talk later.”

“There might not be a later,” I said, but he was already out the door.

I turned to the guy on the sax. “Do you know any blues tunes?”

Helped Wanted

2007-06-25T16:55:00.000-07:00

Mr. Cobb sat at the breakfast table drinking his coffee and smoking a Pall Mall Gold. Mrs. Cobb sat across from him reading the Help Wanted ads.

“Here’s one,” she said. “Own your own business. Owner forced to sell because of relocation. Turnkey operation.”

“What the hell do I know about raising turkeys?” Mr. Cobb answered.

“Not turkey, you idiot. Turnkey. It means it’s all set up for you, ready to go.”

“Smelly birds. You remember my friend, Ralph from Cortlandt, New York? Well, his brother-in-law owned a turkey farm upstate. Dirtiest, smelliest animals you ever want to see. I swear to Christ that you’ll never eat turkey again after seeing a turkey farm.”

“Don’t you listen?”

“I don’t want to have to be getting up at 4 in the AM to feed the damn turkeys! Let me see that paper.”

Mrs. Cobb shook her head and handed him the paper.

“Here’s one,” Mr. Cobb said. “Marketing specialist. Now let me ask you something. When you send me to the market, don’t I always get what you ask for? Jeez, some guys forget to bring the damn list with them. Other ones buy stuff that ain’t even on the list. Take Phil Green. His wife is always yelling at him because he s’sposed to be on a diet and he’s always trying to sneak Mallomars or Haagen Daaz into the house when he thinks she ain’t looking. And he forgets to buy food for dinner. He’s no marketing specialist.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what they mean,” Mrs. Cobb said.

“What who means?”

“A marketing specialist is not someone who knows how to shop in a supermarket. I think it has something to do with sales.”

“Then why don’t they just say that? Jeez! This job hunting stuff is for the birds, the turkeys, whatever!” He took another puff of his cigarette and turned the page. “Here’s a good one. TV specialist. International beauty products company seeks highly motivated TV specialist for negotiating and booking models for photo shoots… Let me ask you, who’s a bigger lover of TV than me? And, don’t you always tell me what a great negotiator I am when we go to Englishtown Flea Market? Didn’t I make a bundle on those fishing poles I bought and then resold because the numnuts who sold them to me didn’t know how valuable the reels were? And booking the models? They pay somebody to do that? Just sign me up! But I don’t like them too skinny.”

Mrs. Cobb sighed, got up and shuffled into the living room. Mr. Cobb put out his cigarette, got up, went to the Frigidaire and got himself a Pabst Blue Ribbon. He sat back down, flipped open the can, leaned back in his chair and smiled.

“Well, I would say this day is already a success and it’s only 10 o’clock in the morning,” he said to no one in particular.

Miss Independence

2007-06-20T08:21:00.001-07:00

In honor of the upcoming Independence Day (July 4) and following Bloomberg's lead, I am officially changing my party affiliation to Independent. It think this best reflects my views these days as I have no great love for either the Democratic or Republican party. I will vote for the best man (or woman). For the record, my money is on Duncan Hunter unless he does something reprehensible in between now and November 2008.

What's It Like?

2007-05-26T18:30:00.000-07:00

Many of you may know that I will be in the market to buy a house in next year or two. I've always been drawn to the southern part of New Jersey for reasons I can't quite explain. It's probably due to a combination of things, the main points being: my dad's family is from there; it gets a lot of press in Weird New Jersey magazine; from the pictures I've seen, it's absolutely breathtaking; it's less expensive than here; and William Least Heat Moon wrote about it in Blue Highways.

Other than that, and a day trip to Greenwich in Cumberland County a couple of years ago, I really didn't know about the heart and soul of Cumberland, Salem and Gloucester counties. So, I went onto Craigslist South Jersey "Rants and Raves" and simply asked people who lived there what they thought. The response below (condensed somewhat) was described to me by its author as "not the Chamber of Commerce version, but the truth!":

What's it like?

It ain't good.

Don't come down here expecting to find a job. They're in short supply, and what there is doesn't pay too well. Refer to table three at the following link: http://www.dvrpc.org/data/databull/rdb/db75.htm . You'll see that the percentage of total population living below the poverty level is 15%; for children, it's 20%.

Do you have kids? You don't want them attending public school when 20% of their classmates will be poor. Poor people get mean in a hurry. They can also bring down the quality of a classroom, and no area with these kinds of statistics is attracting a talented pool of teachers. (Disclaimer: I grew up dirt-freakin'-poor, I mean free lunch poor, clothes-never-fit poor, so I know whereof I speak.) We've also got the State's highest infant mortality rate, and the youth don't fare too well either. Per capita income: just over $17,000. There's lots of economic redevelopment projects down here--take that as you like.

Bridgeton, specifically, is a hole and I urge you to stay out of it. Take a cruise down Rt. 77 and look at the plates on the cars: all North Carolina (where you don't need to prove identity to get a license) and Pennsylvania (where it's cheaper to insure and apparently they don't check addresses too closely) tags. Stop and walk the streets--during the daytime, I mean. You'll hear nothing but Spanish. Half the stores have that hateful red-white-green flag outside with signage en Espanol. I know I read a statistic somewhere stating that one in five dollars of income in the city comes from some type of public assistance--welfare, unemployment, social security. By the way, it's the County Seat of Cumberland County.

Millville's broke, but it's got a stellar annual Airshow and they just built a new shopping center. An elderly woman was robbed in her garage last week as she pulled in to park her car. She was knocked to the ground and struck her head. The suspect is still on the loose.

The big local newspaper is the Vineland Daily Journal. Read it, check the forums, see what the locals have to say.

Cumberland County houses virtually all of the State's jails. If you can cut it as a prison guard, you'll enjoy it down here. If not, you'll have to put up with society's detritus--the folks who get released from jail but can't afford a bus ticket back up North. They find a job pumping gas and an abandoned car they can sleep in and bide their time until they fall back into recidivism, and back into jail. There's a lot of Superfund sites down here, and we're not too far from the balky Salem Nuclear Power Plant.

The State Police patrols much of the County. In many places, they are the only police presence. In most cases, it'll be a wait if you need 'em.

An important fact for North Jerseyans: there is NO, I repeat, NO PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION HERE. If you don't have a license, stay where you are. If you don't have a car, stay where you are. If you come down here and have neither of these things and no job, you may find yourself trapped! You've gotta drive everywhere, and gas is expensive.

Housing was once affordable. No more. Everything's $250,000, and since the local economy doesn't support that kind of expense, the builders are advertising the area to denizens of Cherry Hill.

I don't know Salem, but I've heard it's worse. And of course, Camden is legendary.

You might be okay toward Williamstown, or Thorofare / Deptford. You'll probably feel at home in West Deptford. Look at Swedesboro, too, I think. There's a good bit of employment there in places (Pureland Industrial Park especially).

Anyway, that's all I've got to say. Good luck to ya, buddy.

Mmmm, don't think I'll be rushing to move down there any time soon. Boy, has it changed from the day of grandma and grandpa.

Sounds About Right to Me

2007-05-14T08:55:00.000-07:00

Martta: At age 101 you will perish under strange circumstances involving a gallon of lotion, two nine volt batteries, and a photograph of a bicycle.

http://evil.berzerker.net/death_predictions.php

When Did We Become So Child-centric?

2007-05-14T06:22:00.000-07:00

All this Mommy and Daddy blog talk got me to thinking: When did American society become so child-centric?

I ask this not to be facetious but I genuinely want to know.

I was born in 1957 and while having kids was a way of life for my parents and their friends, we didn't seem to be the center of everyone's universe, at least from my perspective. Yes, they spent time with us, did kid things with us, attended our school plays, sporting events and whatnot but they also did adult things with their adult friends, no kids allowed.

Every Saturday night, my parents would go out, sometimes alone, sometimes with another couple and I was left home with a sitter. I actually looked forward to Saturday nights because I got to stay up and play cards (Canasta!)with the sitter or watch Ed Sullivan, drink tea with honey (only one cup was allowed), and eat a Swanson fried chicken TV dinner. Yes, having a TV dinner was a real treat to me when I was 9 or 10. Who can forget the scrumptious, greasy fried chicken, the mashed potatoes that you could remove from its compartment with one fell swoop of the fork, and the gelatinous, but tasty, apple cobbler? God, I lived for Saturday nights.

But I digress. Today, you see kids EVERYWHERE you don't want to see them: at R-rated movies, at the racetrack at midnight, at bars, at fancy restaurants, even at adult-themed parties. God forbid these parents should hire a sitter for one lousy night.

And, it's no wonder that the majority of my current crop of friends are childfree. That's because even on the rare occasion when the kids are left at home with a sitter, the conversation ultimately turns to toilet training, breastfeeding, Mommy and Me classes and sippy cups. Sorry, but life is short and my brain has better things to do. Many of these folks were really cool people before they had kids; it's almost as if the cool part of their brains got discarded with the placenta.

But to me, the telling factor that children have surely taken over the universe is the homes in which they live. That's right, walk into almost any house with kids today and you'll know right away who wears the plastic-lined pants in the family. The house will be strewn with kindercrap, not just in the child's room or playroom but in the living room, the dining room, the kitchen and even the parents' bedroom. All kinds of cheap, plastic, made-in-China crap guaranteed to hold a child's attention for two minutes tops.

When I was a child, my toys had to be picked up and returned to my bedroom or the playroom when I was finished playing with them. I certainly was not allowed to leave them all over the house or on the furniture. I remember crying because our dog at the time had chewed up one of my favorite dolls that I left in the living room. My mother had no sympathy for me, telling me that if the doll had been put away on the shelf in my room, this would not have happened.

But getting back to my original question: When did we become so child-centric? In my opinion, I think it happened sometime after World War II. In the years following the war, people had more disposable income and more imporatntly, more leisure time. Leisure time was almost unheard of when my grandparents were raising families. You worked, came home to eat dinner, listened to the radio, read the paper, went to bed, and got up the next day to do the same damn thing all over again. Vacations were only for wealthy folks.

In post-war middle-class families, more moms stayed home and could, therefore, spend more time with their kids. Once or twice a year, most familes took vacations together. Naturally, since parents gradually began to spend more and more time at home with their kids, a cottage industry grew out of it. Advertisers began marketing directly to kids so that said kids would pester Mom and Dad incessantly until they caved in and bought whatever cheap, imported, plastic bauble or sugar-encrusted cereal they wanted.

Also, for the first time in history, it was no longer a scandal to get a divorce. So, you had more divorced parents, split households and a lot more guilt. The guilty parties would then overcompensate for their perceived failures not just with material excesses but with time as well. Spending more time with your kids is not a bad thing, mind you, but more and more parents began to involve their kids in their own lives, dragging them everywhere, even to places once considered oases for adults.

Call me what you want but I kind of like the phrase, "Children should be seen and not heard." I should not be hearing them in upscale dining establishments unless they can sit quietly and cut their own meat. I should not seeing OR hearing them cry out in R-rated movies or at a bar or a museum (unless it's a kiddie exhibit).

To parapharse the old American Express ad that stated, "Don't leave home without it," my message to these kid-centric parents is "Do leave home without 'em"--at least once in a awhile.

Laughing on the Outside, Crying on the Inside

2007-05-11T06:24:00.000-07:00

From the Associated Press Medical Desk:

"DIET: Thin People May Be Fat Inside"

I'm waiting for the study that states: "Poor People May Be Rich Inside."

5 Questions

2007-05-10T06:12:00.000-07:00

This meme was passed on to me from MauiGirl, whose link I've added to this blog:

1. What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?

Very good question, indeed. Originally, I was going to create a blog that was sort of a diary of my running/fitness pursuits. But, if that's all I wrote about, think it would be pretty boring to non-runners/fitness buffs. So now I only mention it when I've run a race particularly well, won an award, or achieved some other goal.

I thought about a political blog but there are soooooo many of them out there. I'd be competing with people like Michelle Malkin and Andrew Sullivan. Not a good idea.

So, basically, through no fault of my own, this blog has become the Everything to Everyone Blog. Do I like that fact? Not really. But I have yet to be inspired as to what I want this blog to become.

A while back, a friend told me to walk into a bookstore and let a book pick YOU, not the other way around. I hope I have the same experience with my blog.

2. Are you a spiritual person?

Yes, I am. I do believe in a higher power. That being said, I don't adhere to any organized religion. Too many man-made restrictions. I know I may get flamed for this but I really don't think that God intended for man not to eat certain foods (well, maybe transfats), wear certain materials, or give up other earthly pleasures. My God also does not discriminate against women. He created them, after all!

Basically, my God wants me to treat other people well, be charitable (not just with money) and to find love in the world.

3. If you were stranded on a deserted island, what three things would you want to have with you?
A book on survival, a fishing pole, a good sunscreen!

4. What's your favorite childhood memory?
Having my extended family together for the holidays. I got a feeling of security from that.

5. Is this your first meme? Yes, it is!

Games Mommies Play

2007-05-06T15:45:00.000-07:00

When I was in junior high, we had a Book Fair at our school every year where you could basically purchase books that were outside of the school curriculum. Since I was and still am an avid reader, I looked forward to the Book Fair and always went home with about five new purchases.

I still have many of those books but the one that STILL makes me laugh was a delightful little book called, Games Christians Play: An Irreverant Guide to Religion Without Tears, by Judi Culbertson and Patti Bard (1967: Harper & Row, NYC). Yes, the pages are yellowed and the glue from the binding has long dried up but it's still a classic. Here's a sampling of some of the chapter titles:

Holding the Fort Against Heresy
What to Do When You Know More Than the Minister
Instant Status Games

Included in the last one, there's a section called, "My Bible's More Underlined Than Yours."

I bring this up because today we have a new type of evangelism that is sweeping the nation. No, it's not a religion but its fervor might certainly be compared to one. It's called Mommyism or Mommy-anity, take your pick.

Simply put, if I hear about one more web site or TV show devoted to Alpha Moms (I STILL don't know what that term really means), I'm gonna barf.

Instead of "My Bible Is More Underlined Than Yours," the underlying message of many of these web sites is:

My Child Is Brighter Than Yours
My Child Is Prettier Than Yours
My Child Dresses Better Than Yours
My Child's Nanny Is Better Than Yours
My Child Goes to a Better School Than Yours
Hey, I'm Just a Better Mommy Than You'll Ever Be, So Just Go Stick Your Head in the Oven Right Now and We'll Call It a Day!

You get my drift.

But getting back to the concept of the Alpha Mom: What the hell IS that? I know what the Alpha Male Gorilla is (he's the one that gets to screw all the Alpha Female Gorillas) and even the Alpha Girl Teenager (she's usually the meanest girl in school) and the Alpha Boy Teenager (usually a jock who gets all the girls).

By designating herself as the Alpha Mom, this mommy is saying that she's a better mommy than you and you might as well suck it up now. She's the Internet version of the old playground Yenta Mom or Buttinsky Mom who ALWAYS has a better way of doing things, "Why do you give your daughter Brand X juice? Don't you know that Brand Y is better for her?" or "Your kid didn't get into Montessori? Shame!" You know the type.

My own mother certainly knew the type and would have very little to do with them and would laugh behind their backs.

My mom was a great mom, before the term Alpha Mom was coined. Unfortunately, she passed away in 1992 and so Mother's Day is always a little sad for me.

She didn't have Internet access (she didn't even have a college degree but was one of the smartest people I've ever known) but she knew what to do when one of us got the flu, a fever or a bad tummyache. There was no "Alpha Mom TV" back then but my mom somehow instilled in us the drive to do our best in school, in sporting activities, and with creative outlets.

She also knew when we were lying or bullshitting her and would not let us get away with it. We learned at an early age that our actions had consequences.

My mom, like many moms since the dawn of time, would occasionally compare notes on childrearing over coffee with my aunts or other moms in the neighborhood. No one thought this was worthy of media attention or a full-length feature in The New York Times.

So, why is it now? Why are there so many Mommy (or Daddy as the case may be) blogs? NEWS FLASH: Your kid's teething is not that unusual. Your kid throwing up is not only not unusual, it's gross and I don't need to be reading about it over my morning coffee. Ditto for pooping!

Two years ago, I found a wonderful bumper sticker for times like this. I bought two actually, one is at work and one is on the shelf in my home office. It reads, "My Labrador Retriever Is Smarter Than Your Honor Student."

Take that, Alpha Moms!

He's Not All That

2007-04-26T06:59:00.000-07:00

The "he" being Alec Baldwin.

The highlight of his career, in my opinion, was "Glengarry Glen Ross." Unfortunately, similar to the ventriloquist dummy, Willy, in "Twilight Zone," his character has taken over his entire persona.

The phone call to his daughter was real. How it got onto the Internet is another story but there's no denying it's real. And, it's horrid. I'm not saying parents can't yell at their kids, but it's the ugly name-calling that got to me. Too personal for my blood.

Who's the adult here? He was carrying on like, well, a 12-year-old!

Now he's going around saying that he's sorry and the comments were really meant for Kim Basinger. M'kay. Still, how about exercising a little self-control here? If I was his kid, I would never take a phone call from him again! Hell, I'd be hiding under my bed right now.

I really feel sorry for his daughter. Not only is she caught between these two looney tunes but the whole affair has been made public.

And now Baldwion wants to leave "30 Rock." Personally, I think he should stay. That kid's gonna need money for major therapy.

"Desert" with the Dean

2007-04-19T16:11:00.000-07:00

You can't make this shit up. Some of you know that I was graduated from Syracuse University which is well-known for its Newhouse School of Public Communications. So, I was a bit surprised when I received this Hold the Date email today:

THE SYRACUSE UNIVERSITY
NORTHERN NEW JERSEY
ALUMNI CLUB

SAVE THE DATE

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The SUNNJAC Speaker Series

“Desert With The Dean”
With Special Guest
Susan Donovan, SU Dean of Admissions
7:30 PM – 9 PM
Orange Lawn Tennis Club
South Orange, NJ

Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here. Maybe the dean is going to regale us all with slides of his recent trip to Death Valley. Or maybe it's an invitation to run away with the dean, "desert with the dean," get it?

No thanks, I'm already taken. By a man who knows the difference between "dessert" and "desert."

The Good News, The Bad News

2007-04-17T08:17:00.000-07:00

The Good News:
I now weigh less than what I weighed in college.
I am starting to see some definition in my abs.
I feel pretty good.

The Bad News:
The weather has not been cooperating, so my race times are off.
A lot of my clothes are too big.
I still have boobage. (WHAT is up with that? Even with all the weight and body fat I've lost, they are still the same size...argh!)

I have no idea what my body fat is now but my guess is that's it's probably between 15% and 16%. The last time I was measured was about a month ago and it was 16% and some change. I should probably go and have it done again.

I am getting to the gym 2-3 times a week but I am certainly not getting out to run as much as I did this time last year because of the damn weather. Yes, I stil do races on the weekend but my times are lagging about a minute behind. A 10K race was cancelled this past weekend in Branch Brook Park. We were all set to do it and then a friend of ours called. Bummer. What's a little rain, right? Heck, four members of my running club did the Boston Marathon in a nor'easter; who am I to complain?

I am eating the same amount, more or less. I say more or less because my boyfriend is now on a special diet (temporarily) where he can't have sugar, dairy or wheat. If you think that's easy, think again. I could give up the sugar, no problem, MAYBE dairy, but wheat is in EVERYTHING! The only grainy thing he's really allowed to have right now is couscous, which is pretty tasty actually.

The reason for the diet: TK was diagnosed as not having enough acid in his stomach to digest his food properly. This, according to the fancy-schmancy NY specialist, is why he's been suffering with stomach pain, shakiness, brain fog, fatigue...a while litany of ailments. This syndrome (don't laugh, it's called "dumping syndrome" because all of the undigested food is "dumped" into the small intestine) can be due to years and years of bad eating habits. I always yelled at him for eating a lot of sugar and white flour products. He never took me seriously. But now the doctor is saying the same thing.

He IS feeling better. In addition to the diet, he has to take a whole host of supplements. They ain't cheap, either. But, like I said, he is feeling better and even did a 5K race for the first time in six weeks this past weekend.

So, even though I don't have to give up wheat, I find myself wanting it less and less. Bread (I only eat whole wheat bread anyway) has become kinda boring. I still like brown rice, though, and oatmeal. Pasta, only once in a blue moon. And, like I said, I am loving the couscous. Hence, the reason for additional weight loss. Whole Foods has lots and lots of wheat-free and gluten-free products so it hasn't really been a problem.

According to some experts, humans were never meant to eat such large quantities of wheat/grain products. We've only been an agrarian people for the last 10,000 years or so, a drop in the bucket of our whole existence. Lots of people have wheat and/or gluten allergies and others, like TK, have systems that just can't tolerate great quantities of them.

So, what's been happening also is that more veggies, fruits and nuts have been replacing the wheat products. Not a bad thing, I suppose.

The Monkey Song

2007-04-16T12:37:00.000-07:00

"I'm no kin to the monkey, no-no-no/
The monkey's no kin to me, yeah-yeah-yeah/
I don't know much about his ancestors
but mine didn't swing from a tree."

Yes, these are the real lyrics to a catchy little tune, "The Monkey Song," sung by no other than actress Crystal Bernard ("Wings") and her sister, Robin. The song appears on the LP, Dr. Jerry Falwell: Feudin' Fussin' & Frettin' (Fret Not) (Thomas Road Baptist Church) 1972...you can't make this up.

There's also another cute little ditty titled, "The Ecumenical Movement" on the same LP.

You don't have to purchase the album, however, to enjoy them. Just go to www.ubu.com/outsiders/365/03-2.html and you can listen to a strange song every day of the year, including one by Louis Farrakhan called "Is She Is, Or Is She Ain't?" about falling for a transvestite, and William Shatner singing "Rocket Man."

Don't say I didn't warn ya.

My Final Words on the Imus Debacle

2007-04-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

OK, so he's been fired from MSNBC and now CBS Radio. Yes, and even though I think Imus is a drug-addled animated corpse, I think the firing was excessive. That being said, I stand by the advertisers who wanted to take their business elsewhere after Imus' remarks about the Rutgers Lady Knights.

My 2 cents:

I defend the First Amendment with my life and I abhor censorship, all kinds of censorship, including Tipper Gore's desire to rate music CDs. However...LISTEN UP, KIDDIES...just because you have the right to say it, doesn't mean there won't be any consequences. If you make inflammatory remarks about blacks, Jews, women, Catholics, Zoroastrians, whomever, someone somewhere is going to get pissed off. DEAL WITH IT!

Pissed off can mean many things: letters to the editor, letters to the station manager, protests in the street, advertisers pulling dollars, politicians getting their collective panties in a wad, you name it. (And yes, grandstanding by Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson, whom I think are as equally reprehensible as Imus. But that's another blog posting on another day.)

So, why are people surprised at the backlash? If Imus is allowed to call a bunch of college girls whom he has never met "nappy-headed ho's", I--and lots of folks--have the right to get pissed off. And, if I am CEO of Proctor & Gamble, I have the right to pull my ads if I don't agree with the content of the show. Period. This is not fascism, people. It's my right. I'm not saying shut the guy down, I'm just saying that I'm not going to spend my ad dollars on his show.

Let's say the CEO of some big corporation was an animal-loving vegan. He or she is not going to be spending advertising dollars on a broadcaster who advocates wearing fur or hunting animals. And, that is his or her right. I have friends who won't frequent certain establishments because the corporate office of said establishment gives money to Pro Life causes. I could give countless other examples but I think you get the drift.

Yeah, I think Imus is an ass. He's narrowminded, not funny and he hasn't had an original idea since the Eisenhower administration. But should he have been fired? Absolutely not. Fined, yes. Reprimanded, yes. Hit in the wallet by advertisers, yes.

But people should be allowed to hang themselves with their own rope.

One more thing and then I promise that, unlike Imus, I will shut up about this. Lots of people have been saying, "But he gives so much to charity, to sick kids, blah-blah-blah!" That may be and that is admirable but it doesn't give you the right to be a prick. A poster on Gawker said it best: "I gave money to UNICEF in the 7th Grade. Does that give me the right call you a fag?"

Am I Supposed to Feel Sorry for Them?

2007-04-06T15:35:00.000-07:00

Well, I don't. Too bad. Actions have consequences, amigos. Trolls belong under a bridge. I especially like Javier Diaz' quote, which I've highlighted.

Miami Sex Offenders Live Under a Bridge
By JOHN PAIN, Associated Press Writer
April 6, 2007

MIAMI - Five convicted sex offenders are living under a noisy highway bridge with the state's grudging approval because an ordinance intended to keep predators away from children made it nearly impossible for them to find housing.

Some of them sleep on cardboard raised slightly off the ground to avoid the rats. One of the men beds down on a pallet with a blanket and pillow. Some have been there for several weeks.

"You just pray to God every night, so if you fall asleep for a minute or two, you know, nothing happens to you," said 30-year-old Javier Diaz, who arrived this week. He was sentenced in 2005 to three years' probation for lewd and lascivious conduct involving a girl under 16.

The conditions are a consequence of laws passed here and elsewhere around the country to bar sex offenders from living near schools, parks and other places children gather. Miami-Dade County's 2005 ordinance _ adopted partly in reaction to the case of a convicted sex offender who raped a 9-year-old Florida girl and buried her alive _ says sex offenders must live at least 2,500 feet from schools.

"They've often said that some of the laws will force people to live under a bridge," said Charles Onley, a research associate at the federally funded Center for Sex Offender Management. "This is probably the first story that I've seen that confirms that."

The five men under the Julia Tuttle Causeway are the only known sex offenders authorized to live outdoors in Florida, said state Corrections Department spokeswoman Gretl Plessinger.

"This is not an ideal situation for anybody, but at this point we don't have any other options," she said. "We're still looking. The offenders are still actively searching for residences."

But she conceded a point that many experts have made: This "is a problem that is going to have to be addressed. If we drive these offenders so far underground or we can't supervise them because they become so transient, it's not making us safer."

County Commissioner Jose Diaz said he had no qualms about the ordinance he created.

"My main concern is the victims, the children that are the innocent ones that these predators attack and ruin their lives," Diaz said. "No one really told them to do this crime."

The men must stay at the bridge between 10 p.m. and 6 a.m. because a parole officer checks on them nearly every night, Plessinger said.

They have fishing poles to catch food, cook with small stoves, use battery-powered TVs and radios and keep their belongings in plastic bags. Javier Diaz has trouble charging the GPS tracking device he is required to wear; there are no power outlets nearby.

The whoosh of cars passing overhead echoes loudly under the causeway, which runs over Biscayne Bay, connecting Miami and Miami Beach.

About 100 feet away are the bay's blue-green waters, where a family with young children played in the water this week. In the near distance, luxury condominiums rise from the coastline.

Javier Diaz said he and the other men fear for their lives, especially because of "crazy people who might try to come harm sex offenders."

No shit, Sherlock! But what about the kids you molested? Did they not fear for their lives, too?"

The five committed such crimes as sexual battery, molestation, abuse and grand theft. Many of the offenses were against children. The state moved the men under the bridge from their previous home _ a lot next to a center for sexually abused children and close to a day care center _ after they were unable to find affordable housing that did not violate the sex-offender ordinance.

Twenty-two states and hundreds of municipalities have sex offender residency restrictions, according to a California Research Bureau report from last August.

Laurie Anderson or Biofeedback?

2007-04-02T13:50:00.000-07:00

I recently downloaded Laurie Anderson's "O Superman" onto my iPod and I've never had a song have such a sedative effect on me. That's not necessarily a bad thing but when I even THINK about this song, I go into mellow mode. I actually use it as a sleep aid on the bus.

I think I'm onto something.

Awwwww!

2007-03-20T10:48:00.001-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvWNaqLIH0M

Do you know how cute you are?

Catching Up on Movies

2007-03-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

TK got me a portable DVD player for Xmas and it's gotta be my fave gift. The funny thing is that when we had been out doing Xmas shopping and saw it in the store, I remarked that it was really cool but it was the type of item I would never buy for myself. Believe me, this was not a subtle hint. Anyone who knows me, knows there is nothing subtle at all about me.

Well, whaddya know? There it was on Xmas morning and I have to say it makes my commute into the city a whole lot more bearable.

So, after the Academy Awards, I am finally catching up on all the movies I never got to the theater to see. A short review follows:

A Prairie Home Companion--A real disappointment. I'm a Garrison Keillor fan by proxy. That is, my brother in Oregon raved about this guy forever and I finally familiarized myself with him and I have to say, he's captivating. I genuinely enjoy his stories about Lake Wobegon and whatnot.

That being said, the movie fell flat. There was a terrific cast: Keillor himself, Meryl Streep, Lily Tomlin, Woody Harrelson, Tommy Lee Jones, John C. Reilly. Geez, even Lindsay Lohan was good. If you like country and western, you'll like the music. My fave was Lefty and Rusty (Harrelson and Reilly were awesome with their dirty ditties). But this was supposed to portray the last live radio show of APHC, so the characters should have pulled out all the stops when it came to reminiscing about the past. That didn't happen. All of their stories were predictable, lame and boring. I didn't get the "feel" of APHC; a good reminiscing movie should pull you in to the action, make you feel like part of the extended family. I just didn't get that.

Honestly, I think I learned more about Garrison Keillor and APHC from Wikipedia!

Some other things that annoyed me:

Virginia Madsen as the "Mystery Woman" ghost. WTF was that all about? Too contrived and totally unnecessary!

Kevin Kline's character. He was supposed to be a security guy. He was dressed more like a guy who got lost on the way to a barbershop quartet competition. Totally didn't get his character.

Things I liked:

Garrison Keillor playing himself.
The guy who did the radio show sound effects.
Rusty and Lefty's jokes.
The music.

Art School Confidential--I wanted to love this movie but that didn't happen. I liked some things about this film but I can't say I loved it.

It was a product of Terry Zwigoff, the same guy who directed Ghost World, which I DID love, so I just expected the lovefest to carry on over.

Granted there were some VERY funny scenes and the acting was decent. Plus, there was an actor in it I have never seen before named Matt Keeslar who was the hottest thing this side of wasabi paste. Where the hell has he been hiding? Note to directors: PLEASE cast this hunk in other productions!

Basically, it's a parody of the pretentious people one might find at art school. Now I've never been to art school but I have been in writer's workshops (Breadloaf) and let's just say there are pretentious characters in any artistic setting. You have the crazy chick, the phony intellectual, the druggie-punk, the closeted gay, the ass kisser, the hippy-vegan, you get the picture.

Now in case there's someone out there who hasn't seen the film, I don't want to put any spoilers in here. Suffice it to say that the movie takes a *comic* twist at the end which really didn't bowl me over. If I had to sum up this film in one sentence, I'd say, "It's a comedy about what an artist will do to get some notoriety."

But something was gnawing me about this film, hours after having viewed it. Where have I seen this theme before? And then I remembered: The King of Comedy, with Robert DeNiro, Jerry Lewis and Sandra Bernhard. Same message but funnier. Genius, if I say so myself.

Reviews to come: Jesus Camp and Little Miss Sunshine.

Nice Way to Start the Day

2007-03-16T07:14:00.000-07:00

So I'm standing in the nasty waiting for the 280 Express bus when this car pulls into the service station next to the bus stop. The window rolls down and a young Arabic guy asks me what time the 280 EX is due. I tell him and then the driver, who appears to be his mom in a headwrap, says to me, "Why don't you get inside? Don't wait out in the snow."

I hesistated for a second. C'mon, fess up, you would have, too! I don't know these people from Adam. They could whisk me away to a mosque somewhere and I would never be heard from again. But my gut, which is usually pretty reliable says, "Trust them."

Well, I'm glad I did because they were the nicest folks you'd ever want to meet. The son, Ahmed, who appeared to be in his early 20s, works in the financial industry. While he was telling me this, his mom, beaming with pride, told me that he got his MBA from Fordham. She herself is a pharmaceutical chemist who turned down a high-paying job in NYC because she didn't want to commute. Smart woman!

In all my years commuting, I don't remember anything like this ever happening, whether it was at the train station in Montclair or the bus stop in Verona. God forbid, some rich yuppie would offer me shelter from the storm. I'd have a better chance of winning the lottery.

Just shows to go ya, you can't judge a book.

Good Start

2007-03-15T06:30:00.000-07:00

Had my first 5K race of the season on March 10 and I think I did pretty well. Tough course, tough weather (32 freakin' degrees and very damp), tough crowd (lots of fast runners...the overall winner was a 40 yo man who clocked in at 15 and some change, with a 5:01 pace. Egads!)

Clocked in at 25:15. That's a little bit faster than I was running at this same time last year. And I felt pretty good, albeit a little out of breath more than unusual. But then I discovered that almost everyone I spoke to, even the best runners in our club, felt breathless.

So, although the weight training and cross-training has been paying off, I simply need to get back on the roads again and build up my lung capacity. Now that it's getting lighter at night (coupled with the early DST), that should be happening real soon.

In other news, my trainer/nutritionist at my gym had said he wanted to see me once race season started so he could go over my calorie intake, possibly bumping it up a bit to keep up with the demand. I hadn't seen him in a month or so I was very curious about my BF measurement. I stopped journaling my food intake because I feel I can do this with my eyes closed now. I was pretty good about sticking to the plan even with a few setbacks (dining out with friends, bad weather pre-empting my outdoor training, etc.)

So, needless to say, I was quite surprised when he told me I was down to 16.7% BF! Evidently, my body is not done yet. All told, I have lost 10 lbs. of body fat and gained about 10 lbs. of lean muscle. My scale weight is about the same, though. Really, I don't want to go any lower than this, folks. He told me to add about 200 calories of some good carbs (whole grains, sweet potatoes, fruit, etc.) every fourth day. That works out to be Sunday and Wednesday for me which is good because Sunday is usually race day and I need the extra calories then.

I also need some new clothes but that's another blog entry, another time.

Let's try this again!

2007-03-06T18:44:00.000-08:00

I tried posting this pic last week and then one day it was gone. Something to do with the Blogger server, I s'pose. But ain't it purty?

Awww! New Lycos Doggie!

2007-02-27T12:14:00.001-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwNXgE0Pzy4

What Country Is This Again?

2007-02-26T12:05:00.000-08:00

You would think that making an appointment to have a mammogram would be no big deal, right? Think again.

First, some background. I am a 49-year-old middle-class woman with a decent-paying job. I live the NY metro area. I have had yearly mammograms since the age of 40, not because there's any history of breast cancer in my family (thank God!) but because I have a conservative gynecologist who insists that his patients 40 and older have one every year. OK, I can deal with that.

But it's not just him. These days, you can't pick up a magazine, read a newspaper or watch TV without seeing ads for mammograms. If you're a woman, you are bombarded over and over with the same message: Mammograms save lives. OK, I'll buy into that for the sake of argument.

Today is February 26. I call the imaging lab that I've used for the past decade. I've always been able to make an appointment on a Saturday morning, no problem. It might not be this Saturday, or next Saturday, but I was able to get a Saturday morning appointment within 2-3 weeks of my call.

Not only have they pretty much done away with Saturday appointments altogther (they only have them once a month), you can't even get a friggin' MORNING appointment until April! That's right, you read that correctly. My appointment is for a Monday morning in late April.

Well, I realized that it's not the "order taker's" fault but I did make a remark that the scheduling is not fair to working gals like myself. She was very nice and asked if I would like to speak to her supervisor. I said, "Why not?"

The supervisor, too, was very pleasant. Here is what she told me, in a nutshell: Basically, very few med students want to take up radiology anymore due to numerous lawsuits against them (I was not aware of this). Therefore, due to the shortage of radiologists, many imaging centers no longer offer Saturday appointments. In addition, it's very tough to get ANY appointment for about two months or so.

This burns me up on a lot of levels. First, you read about doctor shortages like this happening in the inner city, particularly with minority women on Medicaid or with no insurance whatsoever. You read about doctor shortages in remote rural areas. You hear about doctor shortages in places like Eastern Europe, the sub-Sahara, and even "progressive" countries with socialized medicine. This is not supposed to happen in "enlightened" metro New York, however. I mean, don't people from overseas come here because we supposedly have the best medical care in the world?

Secondly, waiting two months is not a good thing. Two months can be the difference between "early diagnosis" and "point of no return" for some people. So, no, waiting is NOT a good thing.

Third, once again, we have the insurance industry raising its ugly, pointed little head. Why, all of a sudden, are there all these lawsuits? Why weren't they there 10 years ago, 5 years ago? Can we spell G-R-E-E-D?

Really, I am perplexed. If somone has answers, I am all ears.

Countdown to Spring!

2007-02-26T10:59:00.000-08:00

You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!

2007-02-22T11:33:00.000-08:00

I swear, if I hadn't seen this in The Times I would've thought I was reading The Onion:

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/02/22/garden/22depression.html

But the funniest thing of all were some of the comments on Gawker.com:

"This twat stayed up until 3 a.m. fretting about her kitchen backsplash? Jesus God, why hasn't there been a revolution in this country yet?"

So this Toth woman became so depressed she actually found herself cooking in her new kitchen? Someone please hold a telethon...

Warning: Product Raves

2007-02-20T13:02:00.000-08:00

Normally I don't use my blog to hawk products but I just have to share my thoughts about two really great ones: Lux Hair Mousse and Creme de la Mer.

1. Lux Hair Mousse--The parent company is Unilever and unfortunately, Lux Hair Products are only sold in Japan and a couple of other Asian countries. A co-worker brought a pump container back for me and declared that I MUST try it. It is amazing. You put a dab on towel-dried hair and it makes your hair shiny and smooth. I know there are other similar products out there but this stuff is best I've ever tried.

I emailed Unilever asking if there is any store near NYC that sells these products. Someone sent me back a nice but disappointing note saying, sorry, but no, right now there are no plans to sell them here. Bummer. I HATE when companies do that.

(Another example is Nestle's Coffee Crisp chocolate bars, which are only sold in Great Britain and Canada. I don't even eat candy bars but a friend from the Big White North sent me one and it's to die for! It tastes like a Kit Kat with a mocha/ coffee center. Yum. You can order them online but it costs a fortune because you have to order them by the box. Frankly, I don't want or need a big box of candy lying around.)

2. Creme de la Mer--I heard about this amazing moisturizer when I worked at the Empire State Building last week. The makeup guy was doing the face of one of the brides, a woman of a certain age...MINE!, who was complaining about fine lines and dryness. He told her that the only thing that really works, short of going to a dermatologist, is this Creme de la Mer, which can be purchased online or at Bergdorf's.

I've been having the WORST dryness around my eyes this winter, probably due to the dry air and lack of precip for much of the season. Being that I suffer from eye dermatitis, the dryness just aggravates everything. I decided just to spring for the eye balm.

I warn you this stuff ain't cheap. (It's $120 for .5 oz!) But a little dab'll do ya and IT WORKS! I use it morning and night and it seems to have cleared up the dryness and itchiness. It's amazing how quickly it worked, too. Sure beats cortisone cream anyday.

It has a nice fragrance to it, too. A cucumber, seaweedy smell, but gentle.

I Guess My Mother Had Heartburn

2007-02-20T07:29:00.000-08:00

Mind you, I'm not complaining but my hair has been known to break combs! Seriously, I don't get haircuts, I get hair thinnings.

From today's Times' Health Section:

The Claim: Mother’s Heartburn Means a Hairy Newborn

By ANAHAD O’CONNOR
Published: February 20, 2007
THE FACTS It is an odd adage that has stuck around for ages: women who suffer heartburn during pregnancy will have babies with full heads of hair. But doctors have long shrugged it off.

Until now, that is. In December, researchers at Johns Hopkins University conducted a study intending to put the claim to rest. To their surprise, they ended up confirming it. The study, published in the current issue of the journal Birth, followed 64 pregnant women, about 78 percent of whom reported having some heartburn. After the women gave birth, two outside observers looked at pictures of their infants and rated their levels of hair.

Of the 28 women who reported moderate to severe heartburn, 23 had babies with average or above-average amounts of hair. Conversely, 10 of the 12 women who reported no heartburn had babies with little or no hair.

Other studies have shown that in pregnant women, high levels of estrogen and other hormones can relax the sphincter at the bottom of the esophagus, causing heartburn. The same hormones, other studies show, can influence fetal hair growth.

The lead author of the study, Kathleen Costigan, who runs the fetal assessment center at Johns Hopkins, said the findings came as a shock.

“We’ve heard this claim hundreds of times, and I’ve always told people it’s nonsense,” she said. “Since the study came out, I’ve had to eat a lot of crow.”

THE BOTTOM LINE Heartburn during pregnancy may mean a greater likelihood a baby will have a lot of hair.

That's What I THOUGHT You Said....

2007-02-15T12:41:00.000-08:00

Of all days, I had to come in early yesterday (the yucky, ice-in-your-face-snow day) because a colleague of mine asked if I would help her out with an event at the Empire State Building. Every year about a dozen or so couples get married atop the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day. Most of couples have some sort of compelling story: cancer survivors, back from fighting in Iraq, father's dying wish, etc. It's a nice story, though, it really is.

I had helped her out previously at the Empire State Building Run-up and I guess she was so impressed, she asked for my help again. But I'm happy to do it. She's a nice woman and now I have someone to hit up when I need help with an event.

Anyhoo, it was about 8 AM and I am walking down 34th Street, wind and ice in my face, when a young woman approaches me with what looks like a small packet of something. I could see that the package had little subway dots on it but at that hour, I wasn't even mildly curious. I politely waved her away. It was cold, I needed my coffee, plus my head was so bundled up, I could hardly hear what she was hawking. It sounded as if she was saying "free condoms" or something like that. But, I said to myself, "Nah, too outlandish. Can't be. It's freakin' 19 degrees out, it's 8 AM on a workday, and the last thing I want to think about is getting nekkid, even for sex."

But sonofagun. I turned on the evening news later and that's exactly what it was! A FREE CONDOM! Because it's Valentine's Day, get it? And, Lord knows, that's the only day of the year that you have to worry about having unsafe sex, getting an STD and getting preggers.

17.7% Body Fat. OK, We Can Stop Now

2007-02-13T06:55:00.000-08:00

OK, people. This is as low as I go. And that's after two weeks of really not being that good. There was my brother's birthday (chicken parm, baked ziti, chocolate cake); Tom's granddaughter's and son's birthdays (a combined celebration); dinners out with friends; you get the idea. So, I was REALLY shocked to see that I lost additional body fat. That makes almost 10% total since I started around Christmas!

But now my trainer and I are both in agreement that it's time to go on maintenance. I won't be meeting him every week anymore but I will see him a week before race season begins (March 11) to tweak some things, ie., actually add a few more quality calories.

Sounds good to me. :-)

Awesome!

2007-02-09T16:49:00.000-08:00

This was taken with my crappy cell phone camera but it was an event of such importance to me that I couldn't wait to take a photo, ANY photo.

This is the first flower to bloom on my orchid plant in my office this year. Somehow this baby picked the coldest week this winter to make its appearance but nevertheless, it has arrived and brings promise that no matter how depressing this life gets, there is always a beacon of hope.

And, there are seven other buds waiting to burst as I write this.

A little history:

Last spring, I did a non-work-related favor for a client of mine. To thank me, this lovely woman had a beautiful orchid with white blossoms delivered to my office. I had never owned an orchid before but I know they have their following. In fact, a co-worker down the hall from me has about half a dozen of the plants in her office.

Well, the plant looked great for about 2 or 3 months and then one by one, the petals began to fall. I was so saddened by this. I consulted my colleague and asked if the blossoms would ever come back. She said, "Maybe." She suggested I continue to water it weekly and even give it some fertilizer. I did this for several months but nothing happened--until this past week!

I did read up on orchids a bit. From what I understand, most varieties are hardy plants, surviving droughts and extreme heat in various parts of the world. So, even if you forget to water them one week, it probably won't kill them.

I promise to take more (and better!) photos with the digital next week. Be prepared to orchisized!

No BF reading today

2007-02-08T05:49:00.000-08:00

My trainer called out sick last night so I have no BF reading to share today. No biggie. I ended up staying in the city and meeting my sister-in-law for a bite and a Guinness, at an Irish pub no less. Good way to spend another blustery night.

I am getting a little sick of the cold. I hate having to bundle up every morning. I hate wearing hats and gloves. Supposedly, we're supposed to have a heat wave of 32 degrees by the end of the week. Yeehah!

Send This Chica to Cuba!

2007-02-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdUv7v6K6g

Ack, I Have a Headache

2007-02-07T11:23:00.000-08:00

Well, not literally. But a figurative headache, while not as physically painful, is still the pits. Why do I have a figurative headache you ask?

It's because of this:
http://www.baristanet.com/2007/02/montclair_time_chill_out.php

Read it and weep. I don't mind having an intelligent argument with people who have differing opinions but when it disintegrates into name-calling and such, well, have a nice day. This seems to be the case more often than not with Baristanet. I still love the site and do plan to return, just not today.

And for the record, I DO believe that there is such a thing as global warming but I don't believe it's caused entirely by man. There have been fluctuations in the Earth's climate for hundreds of years. Man, in the entire scheme of things, has only been here a short time. We are a pimple on the ass of eternity or something like that.

Do I believe in composting, driving hybrid cars and recycling? ABSOLUTELY! I always did, even before Mr. Liberal Tree Hugger came to town.

And, some of these people are SOOOO hypocritical! They stick up for Nancy Pelosi and her big jets, all the Hollywood limousine liberals, and all the Baristaville soccer moms who drive these enormous behemoths. THAT'S OK, by the way, because because they are doing it for [trumpets please!] THE CHILLLLDRRRUNNN.

Pass me a barf bag. NOW!

18.25% BF

2007-02-02T06:33:00.000-08:00

Down to 18.25% body fat this week. Yawn. I'm pleased but because I'm getting closer to goal, the percentages just ain't that big a deal anymore. I may quit when I reach 17% and just go on maintenance.

The other good news is that the pain in my back is totally gone, hopefully never to return again. Race season for me starts March 11 with the Newark Distance Classic. Normally, I do the 20K (12.4 miles) but this year I'm just doing the 5K since my goal is to improve my times in the shorter races. There really is no reason for me to do the longer races since I'm not doing a marathon this season. It's kind of a relief not to be training for them. Heck, I've done them for the last 5 years or so. I need a break!

Tom made me laugh yesterday. We were talking about that big hoax in Boston, perpetuated by Turner Broadcasting Co. In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Turner Broadcasting was doing a promotion for this new lame cartoon series targeted towards "insomniac stoners," as I've heard it described. They hired a promotions company to place these light boxes around select cities but I guess Boston never got the memo.

Basically, the city was in a uproar because they considered it a possible terror attack. The bomb squad was called, extra cops were put on duty, traffic was rerouted, you get the picture. Mayhem. Supposedly, Turner is being fined for all the extra manpower and aggravation. I'd be upset if I lived in Boston, too.

In fact, once we heard it was Turner Broadcasting, we REALLY wanted Boston to pull out all the stops. Ted Turner, if you recall, was married to that c__t, Jane Fonda. Tom speculated that their marriage ended because she yelled, "PULL OUT NOW!" one too many times.

Back, psoas, whatever, feels better

2007-01-29T08:49:00.000-08:00

Today I can honestly say that I feel like my backside is on its way to healing. I must confess that I did take a half of one of Tom's muscle relaxants last night but what the hey? Didn't hurt and I had a great night's sleep.

My chiro doesn't like drugs. Well, usually I don't, either, but sometimes you just need the added mobility, serenity, et cetera, that only a pill can give you.

Minor, minor pain today but I definitely don't feel that annoying tightness anymore.

Cheer up, Love. My stocks are in the toilet, too.

2007-01-27T17:15:00.000-08:00

New Toy?

2007-01-27T16:54:00.000-08:00

Tom was flipping through one of the hundreds of catalogs we receive every year --we especially love the ones with stickers on them that say, "This is your last catalog unless you place an order!" and it's usually the ONLY catalog we've ever received from said company--and came across a neat toy/invention.

It's a turntable that has a USB connection for your computer. This means that you can record 33 and 45 RPM vinyl records onto CDs and mp3s! Wowwee! I have been waiting for something like this for a long time. I've always bemoaned the fact that I own sooo many records but can only play them on my turntable. Granted, you can find a lot of songs on iTunes but not EVERYTHING, especially if it's some really, really obscure punk band from the 80s. So this is the answer to my dreams. It's $249 but I'll just charge it. I almost never use plastic but I am really making a concerted effort to save for a house so I don't want to dip into my savings for luxury items. But something like this doesn't come along every day.

***

Had my second session with the chiro today. It went well. He found some more aches and pains that I didn't know I had...:-) It's 8 PM now (my session was at 9 AM) and all I feel is a really minor dull ache so that's a good thing. He said I may feel an ache for a day or two and then I should be pain free. Let's hope so.

I was able to get in 8 miles today and a 45-minute workout with the weights, avoiding anything to do with the lower back. I want to wait until this thing is completely gone. It acted up last week when I got up off a weight bench after lifting a 12-pound weight over my head and back.

It's something called the psoas, something of which I've never heard. It's a tissue that runs deep within the buttock and is literally a real pain the ass! Very common in runners, I am told. He gave me a few exercises to keep it from acting up again. He also told me that I should try to stabilize my lower back as much as possible while this thing heals. The stability ball might be a better choice than the weight bench although I always feel like I am going to fall off the ball! Guess I have to get used to it.

Yes, I HATE Farkin' Teenagers...

2007-01-26T13:11:00.000-08:00

Got a problem with that?

Ga. Teens Admitt to Killing Dog in Oven
By Associated Press
January 26, 2007, 3:51 PM

ATLANTA -- Two teenagers accused of duct-taping a puppy's snout and paws and cooking the animal alive in an oven pleaded guilty Friday to animal cruelty and other offenses. Prosecutors said Joshua Moulder, 17, and his brother, Justin, 19, broke into a newly refurbished community center, where they tortured and killed the 3-month-old puppy, damaged computers, broke glass and splattered paint on the walls.

The brothers then brought neighborhood children to see the dead puppy and threatened to kill them if they reported it, prosecutors said. They will be sentenced next month.

Oh, I would love to be a fly on the wall at that sentencing. Let's just hope they get a judge who HATES FARKIN' TEENAGERS as much as I do. I hope they live the rest of their pitiful, scabrous lives in prison.

Did I mention that I HATE TEENAGERS?

18.6% and counting. Plus Kindercrap Rant.

2007-01-25T07:09:00.000-08:00

18.6 % body fat last night. Getting there, getting there. Trainer and I both have a feeling that once we get into spring, I'll get there faster. That makes sense. With the longer days, I'll be able to run outdoors longer. Whatever. I'm happy. Hope my race times reflect this change. I should just go up to the Verona track and time myself on the mile.

Tom had his measured at the Caldwell Community Center. They uses one of those machine thingies which are not as exacting as the caliper method but close enough. His was 14.5%. No surprises there as he's on the lean side and he's a man.

The most accurate way to measure body fat is underwater weighing but very few places offer this method. Most likely, you have to go to university lab, specifically one that studies obesity and diabetes. Very big, I understand, in places like New Mexico and Southern Cal.

***

Visited my cousin on Sunday who lives down near the shore. It's been a while since I've seen her since one of my brothers got into some sort of tiff with my cousin and her brother so I just assumed she was mad at me, too. Plus, in all honesty, even though she's the only first cousin I have that's close to my age, we don't have that much in common. We did have some fun times together as kids, though, and to this day, we can't stop laughing about some of them.

A couple of weeks ago, she called me. "Hello, this is your cousin ________. I don't know if you remember me or not, but I was just wondering how you were doing." It was good to hear from her. I called her back and we arranged to get together.

My cousin was unable to have children of her own so she and her husband adopted a baby boy three years ago. He's a cute kid but what a handful. After spending time with them, I am reminded why I never wanted kids of my own. He. Just. Doesn't. Stop. For one minute. Lots of energy. Into everything. Interrupts constantly. (All kids do this but I could never understand parents that put up with it). Plus, the house looks as if it had been tortured by the Apaches. Kindercrap ALL over the place: the living room, the computer room, the kitchen, you name it. In fact, the only room in the whole house that had any semblence of order was the kids' own room.

The living room was the worst. All kinds of toys littered the floor, so much that you couldn't see the floor itself. Mind you, she knew I was coming over. I would hate to see the house when no company was expected. I should mention that my cousin does not work, either. So, WTF?

The best part was that she was showing me some pictures and wall sconces that she planned to hang up. She just swept through the room, oblivious to the mess, "And this is where I'd like to hang this..." I mean, dayum, what difference does it make what you've got on your walls when the room looks like a bomb hit it?

It's not just my cousin. I see this is almost all the homes I visit that have young children. The kids and their toys have literally taken over. Not to sound like an old fart, but geez, whenI was a kid, I was allowed to play with my toys in my room, outside or in our finished basement, which doubled as my dad's office and a kid's playroom. My mother would have had a fit if I left toys all over the house.

My cousin apologetically told me that the living room looks like this because she doesn't have a basement. Lame excuse, sorry. I would bet the farm that if they DID have a basement, they would find a way to fill it up with junk, too, as she and her hubby appear to be packrats on top of having a messy kid.

This just reaffirms my Child-Free philosophy that today's parents are so obsessed with their offspring that they'e let them take over. I can just kids all over America raising their little sticky fists, announcing: "We want the living room and we want it NOW!"

USATF-NJ 2007 Awards

2007-01-24T19:27:00.000-08:00

New Look

2007-01-22T11:29:00.000-08:00

Just playing around with some of the new features on this blog. Whaddya think? I like it. I think the polka dots are more in tune with my personality.

Pictures of USATF Awards Ceremony to Come

2007-01-22T07:27:00.000-08:00

They're edited and all but need to resize them for the web. Should be up in a day or two.

Had fun and all but as with last year, the ceremony still needs a shot of good organization. Tom & I won some raffle prizes, too: a $50 gift certificate to Sneaker Factory, two pairs of running shoes, and a book on Boston Marathon. I REALLY wanted to win one of the prepaid race packages but, oh well, next year.

Obtentious

2007-01-22T06:23:00.000-08:00

Some of the best ideas come to me in bed. That is, before I doze off to sleep, you pervs!

Anyway, I was thinking of a word that describes both obnoxious and pretentious people. Mind you, one can be obnoxious and not pretentious and vice versa. So I came up with obtentious. What brought this on, you might ask?

Well, let's go back about 25 years to my second job out of college. I was a reporter for a newspaper that shall remain nameless. This woman, who shall also remain nameless, worked on the advertising side. Let's just say she was trouble from Day 1. Obnoxious AND pretentious!

For our purposes, let's refer to her as "Elise." Elise always wanted to be someone she was not: rich, beautiful, classy. In reality, she was middle-class (oh, the horrors!), average-looking and classless. But she was an excellent actress: She proceeded to ACT like someone rich, beautiful and classy and the rest of us could just pound sand.

Elise would not only polish her nails in the office, she would perch her naked foot up on her desktop while polishing her toesies! I am NOT making this up. She was newly-married to a school teacher but that wasn't good enough for our Elise. She insisted her husband go to law school and became like a wildebeest in her determination to make him into an attorney. I think he had very little say in the matter.

One of her jobs at work was to mark up the ads on the pages (this was before desktop computers). When she was finished she always BELLOWED out my name to come and retrieve the proofs as if I was her personal servant, instead of picking up the phone like a human being and asking nicely. Since she was not my superior, I would just take my sweet old time to go get them.

Fast forward to 2007. I was doing a web search for a client and came across a picture of her on a web site with one of her daughters, named (are you ready for this?) Remy! Can you think of a more obtentious name? (Remy Faith, yet--oy.) Remy is the name of the deli-restaurant where I buy my coffee in the morning. It should NOT be the name of someone's child in America.
And Faith? I hope the kid grows up to be an atheist, just to spite her mother.

How pretentious. How obnoxious. How Elise.

Eraserhead Is Back!

2007-01-18T11:18:00.000-08:00

Yes, according to the Village Voice (a publication whose politics I despise but they have great stories on art, film and literature), Eraserhead, directed by David Lynch, will be at MOMA from January 18 through 24! Such a short run but I really want to try and make it if I can.

http://www.villagevoice.com/film/0703,lee,75564,20.html

I actually wrote a Letter to the Editor, praising the article for bringing back such fond memories. I hope they run it. I gave them both my work and home phone numbers and would love to be there if BF gets the call.

"Hello, this is Blah-Blah from the Village Voice. I am calling for Martta (insert last name here). She wrote a letter to the Voice about Eraserhead..." I would LOVE to see the expression on his face when he gets that call, that "WTF is Eraserhead?" look.

I am evil. And, in Heaven, everything is fun.

19% Flat

2007-01-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

Had my body fat measurement last night and was at 19% flat. Meh. Well, at least I am headed in the right direction. My trainer says that because I am closer to my goal, the decreases will not be as dramatic.

I had a talk with him about what's a healthy range. He said if I wanted to stop now, I could, but if I wanted, I could go as low as 14%. Lower than that is for professional bodybuilders--no thanks! But he reiterated that I should not get discouraged if I take a few weeks to get there. I can handle that, I guess.

He asked me how I was feeling and I told him pretty good. I have more energy when I run up hills. I even told that him when BF & go grocery shopping, I can now carry 3 bags up the 2 flights of stairs with ease. It used to be an effort to carry 2. (WhenI told this to Tom, he said, "Good, you can carry them all up if you'd like!" LOL!)

Kept My Date with the Chiro

2007-01-17T11:59:00.000-08:00

Yeah, I went to see the chiro on Monday. Got there exactly on time which is a freakin' miracle since Paramus is like a whole other universe to me. In fact, Bergen County in general is daunting to me. Don't know why. Maybe it's all those stories I used to hear about how scary Route 17 is. They're greatly exaggerated, in my opinion.

To make along story short, my problem is actually less severe than I thought it was. I expected the worst: He was going to tell me that I have a herniated disc, that I should stop running immediately and accept that I was going to walk hunched over like a gorilla for the rest of my life. Actually, what I have is a tissue adhesion, very common in runners, due to overuse (guilty) and due to trying to rev up your mileage too quickly (also guilty). I also have a pronated left foot which I knew about already.

I also expected the worst in terms of pain. But I have to honestly say that I've had massages that hurt more than what he did. Yes, he pulled and prodded, stretched and poked, but I didn't cry out in agony. One thing I will say is that he definitely knows his anatomy. He was able to zero right in on the source of my problem.

The bottom line? I feel about 90% better. Honestly. I don't get that annoying dull pain when I turn over in bed or bend down to tie my shoes. He says that one more visit should do it. Way cool.
************************************************************************************
Saturday night is awards night, yippee! Me and Tom and some other folks from our club are going. I am getting two 3rd Place USATF-NJ awards. In 2003, I got a 2nd place award but never got two before. I am psyched. At my age, I have to be.

I also got a call from a fellow club member, who's also on the USATF committee, saying that she needs, and I quote, "some attractive women to help sell raffle tickets, so I thought of you." I have to say that she really has a good sales pitch going there and more power to her. I haven't felt very attractive lately due to my allergy which has raised its ugly little head again--or I should say raised the skin around my eyes. And made it red. And gave it this horrible dry, lizard-like appearance. Are you grossed out yet? :-)

Yeah, I haven't had allergies in God knows how many years and then we get this freak winter with the 72 degree days and such. That means all the little mold spores that are normally dormant during the winter are ALIVE AND KICKING! I had to go back on the meds (Zyrtec), the cortisone cream and the eye drops which help but don't help 100%. Plus, Zyrtec, as with many allergy meds, is a mild depressant. Normally, not a problem but I am a bit pre-disposed to depression (especially as I get older) so I do tend to go into a funk. I try to hide it as best as I can though. Oh, and I did I mention that the Zyrtec makes you have weird dreams, too?

And the presciption cortisone cream relieves the itching but it dries out the skin terribly.

Supposedly, starting today we're supposed to go through a cold spell so that has helped a bit. But, gee, I hope it stays cold for a bit. Just to kill the mold. Kill them all, let nature sort them out!

Miracles of Miracles

2007-01-11T12:36:00.000-08:00

Today my butt-thang doesn't feel that bad. Really. And, it really is coincidental that The New York Times ran an article today (Jan. 11) in the Health Section that basically says when an athlete is injured, he or she should keep on moving. This goes against the old tried and true advice about resting, staying off your feet, etc. It said that too much rest can actually work against you, atrophy your muscles and so forth.

Naturally, if you are in debilitating pain, you should see a doc before continuing to exercise but most muscle inflammations can benefit from cross-training or doing the activity you normally do (such as running) but not as much of it. So there.

Actually, this comes as no surprise to me since my running coach's motto is "Motion is lotion," meaning that gentle movement actually helps heal minor muscle aches and such.

I'm still keeping my appointment with the chiro on Monday, though. I want to make sure this thing is gone for good and never coming back.

19.8% and Counting...

2007-01-10T07:07:00.000-08:00

At last night's body fat check-in, I was at 19.8% which puts me in the "Athletic" range. Hallelujah, and pass the French fries, LOL! But seriously, I am thrilled and will probably be even more ecstatic once I visit the chiropractor on Monday. This dull pain in the butt is well, a pain in the butt.

According to the chart, I can go as low at 14 -15% and still be in the "healthy" range. Professional athletes can go lower but hell, I am not one of them. My scale weight has changed little but according to my trainer, I've gained muscle weight. That being said, I don't fret over what the scale says so much anymore.

I do feel stronger but the real test will be how I'll do when race season starts. I did do a personal record in the 4-miler on December 31 and that was only a week or so into the program. This stuff really works.

Is it difficult? Not really, but it does take discipline.

Can you cheat? Once in awhile, yes. But just once in awhile.

Is there anything I don't like about it? Yes, keeping a food diary. I always found this a bit anal but it does work. Hopefully, once I arrive at my goal and can do the program with my eyes closed, I can dispense with the diary.

Song Going Through My Head...

2007-01-06T05:23:00.001-08:00

Ever have a song go through your head for no reason? Well, this classic by the Stadtler Brothers just whizzed into my head today and would not leave for a good part of the morning. No matter, I kinda like the song and it reminds me of happier, more innocent days.

Countin' Flowers On The Wall

I keep hearing you're concerned about my happiness.
All that thought you're giving me is conscience, I guess.
If I were walking in your shoes, I wouldn't worry none.
While you and your friends are worrying 'bout me, I'm having lots of fun.

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Last night I dressed in tails, pretended I was on the town.
As long as I can dream, it's hard to slow this swinger down.
So please don't give a thought to me, I'm really doing fine.
You can always find me here, having quite a time.

Counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,
With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do.

Well, it's good to see you, I must go,
I know I look a fright.
Anyway my eyes are not accustomed to this light.
And my shoes are not accustomed to this hard concrete.
So I must go back to my room and make my day complete.

Counting flowers on the wall,That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.

Now, counting flowers on the wall,
That don't bother me at all.
Playing Solitaire till dawn,With a deck of fifty-one.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Now, don't tell me I've nothing to do. Don't tell me I've nothing to do.

So It's My First Video, OK?

2006-12-31T11:23:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRETm9U0O10

Yes, this is my lame first attempt at creating a 17-second video on my digital cam and then uploading it to YouTube. Expect new and improved scintillating content over the next few weeks, possibly me singing to Labrador retrievers. Woo-effin-hoo.

Random Ramblings

2006-12-28T21:18:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is Girls' Day Out...yippee! I lurve getting together with the girlfriends: Anne, Lynne, Cat, Barb and Joan. All friends from my running club. We're going out to lunch and then out to a movie. Looks like we're seeing "Dream Girls" since about half of us have seen "Holiday."

"Holiday" was cute, very entertaining. And Jude Law, bastard that is he, is not hard to look at. I really want to see "Dream Girls," however, because of Jennifer Hudson. I hear she steals the show from Beyonce.

Worked a little bit harder with the weights yesterday and today I feel it a bit, but in a good way. Not too sore but sore enough to know that I worked out. I feel as if my posture is getting better, too.

Had a deep tissue massage today and boy oh boy, she really got in there and worked that sciatic nerve on the left side. I really have to keep on top of that or it will turn into real sciatica and that is NOT a good thing. Lots of stretching that puppy.

BF & I had dental appointments and this marks my 35th year of being cavity-free. Tom was amazed. I am lucky that I inherited my mother's good teeth. My brothers were not as lucky. But I also think it has a lot do with flouride being introduced to the water when I was young. A lot of folks are against flouride but I think it has done more good than harm, especially where dental disease is concerned. Also, I HATE any kind of soda pop and my brothers both love Coke. That may have something to do with it, who knows?

I always hated carbonated beverages. I find they don't quench my thirst and actually make me thirstier. I basically just drink water, green tea, coffee, red wine, beer and fresh juice made in a juicer. None of that commercial crap. You might as well drink pure sugar water.

We bought a really cool picture frame tonight. It looks like a window with 12 panes, 4 across and 3 down. Cherry wood, really pretty. We're want to fill it up with running pix but it takes 4 x 6 photos so we need to get busy and take more of that size. The USATF dinner is coming up so we'll get some more there.

My favorite Christmas gift? A portable DVD player! We actually saw this in a store and I remarked to Tom that it was something I would never buy for myself. Well, whaddya know? He got me one. I am loving it. It will sure make the morning commute that much more tolerable.

Sometimes I read on the bus but those overhead lights are so dim that it's uncomfortable to read. Which is a darn shame because I love to read. But I love being headache-free more. Damn DeCamp! Spring for some freakin' lightbulbs that work halfway decent, why dontcha?

More on Texas

2006-12-27T19:29:00.000-08:00

The 10 O'clock News is depressing but not as depressing as my family in Texas.

Got a picture text message on my cell phone of a sun rising from my niece on Christmas Eve. This is her way of letting me know that she needs to talk to me. A normal person would just call but well, I think you get my drift.

Not that I don't love my niece. I do, very much, but she has her issues. She's 33, a single mom (by choice, but I don't think she actually knows who the daddy is), claims she's been diagnosed with ADD (she always reminds me of this whenever she gets herself in a fix), and is a drama queen. She used to have a drug problem but has been clean for three years. She's not unintelligent but emotionally, she acts 14.

At least she's trying to pull herself up, though. She's going to school to learn how to fix computers, she works and appears to be making the effort to be a good mother. However, one of the things that continues to pull her down is her OWN mother, my *lovely* ex-sister-in-law. As immature as my niece is, she's even more so and plays these manipulative games with my niece and everyone else. It's really sad.

She had been helping my niece out financially but as soon as my niece does something (real or imagined ) to tick her off, she pulls the plug. I told my niece that she should make every effort to become independent from this witch as soon as possible. Yes, it's going to be tough, both emotionally and financially, but most things in life that are worthwhile are worth fighting for.
I told her that I am there for her.

After my brother and Witch got divorced, she married this guy she met at her high school reunion. I met him once, at my nephew's wedding, and don't really have a good recollection of him, one way or the other. An impression, good or bad, was not made. Well, a few years ago, he ran into some financial problems with his business. Based on what I've written, can anyone out there in the peanut gallery guess what happened next? That's right. Instead of working things through, Witch leaves Guy #2, who, I learned, committed suicide the week before Christmas.

Now Witch has shacked up with Guy #3, a Colombian *artist* of sorts (sounds more like a bullshit artist to me), who lives in a tiny apartment above someone's garage! Well, my niece tells me that HE is now having financial AND health problems and I'm just waiting for the next installment of this sagging saga. I think we all know how it ends up.

But ya know? If I have to listen to another installment, I think I may drink myself silly.

Well, Wet My Feet and Call Me Ducky!

2006-12-27T15:47:00.000-08:00

Had my weekly weigh-in/body fat measurement yesterday and I was shocked to learn that I have lost 3 pounds of body fat in a little more than a week's time! My actual weight was up by 3 pounds (nutritionist said it was probably water gain from all the salty foods over the holiday) but he was more interested in the body fat number. I could not believe it. After a week? And not even sticking to the diet that diligently?

So now my body fat is at 22%, 4% away from my goal. I expected to reach my goal in say, 3 months or so. Dayam, this stuff really works.

Had another workout today with free weights and it went pretty well (this after running 9 miles with Tom in the morning!). I have to say I was a bit apprehensive about this since I haven't worked out with free weights for quite some time. I was worried that I wouldn't be able to even do a decent amount of reps with a 5-pound weight. But I was fine, even able to do 8 and 10 pound weights for the different exercises. Naturally, as I keep doing them, I will keep adding weight (up to a point). For now, though, it's fine. She wants me to be slightly sore the next day, not in horrible pain.

I have a massage tomorrow (Gee, this staying home from work could grow on me!). Really more as a therapeutic session than one for relaxation although I do enjoy them immensely. I was supposed to do two sessions after the marathon on Nov. 19 and I've only done one. I really need it as I feel the piriformis acting up again. Very annoying kind of pain. Not debilitating but a dull throb, not while I am running but when I bend over or get up from a seated position.
Working with a trainer should help to counteract some of this, so I am told. A strong core is key.

News from the Dysfunction Junction

2006-12-24T20:04:00.000-08:00

First of all, Merry Christmas, if anyone happens to be reading this now or on Christmas Day!

That being said, it's always Jerry Springerland when I call my niece in Houston, Texas, to check in on her. Thank God that she and her siblings have seen fit to finally divorce themselves from their toxic mother (my brother's first wife). No one said it was going to be easy but most things in life that are worthwhile are not.

That being said, since it is Christmas Eve, I'll spare you all the gory details for now. (I still haven't digested them all myself). I will revisit them later in the week but not before I've had a good night's sleep!

Tomorrow morning, I have to wake up early and bake oatmeal cookies for BF's family. Then after we exchange gifts, it's off to his son's house.

He told me not to go overboard this year being that we treated ourselves to a flat-screen TV back in November but I can't help myself. I got him:

badly needed luggage
a gift certificate for a massage
a gift certificate to our fave sports store
some tools and stuff he needs for his car
a tiny tool kit for his bicycle
new wallet
new keyfob
2007 datebook
and some other stuff I don't even remember!

He's tough to buy for. First of all, he doesn't need any more clothes. He's one of the few men I know that has more clothes than me. Not that he's a clotheshorse, he just NEVER THROWS ANYTHING OUT. A few times a year, I literally have to beg him to give away some stuff to the Salvation Army, the U.S. Vets, or other such charity or else he would not be able to close the drawers in his bureau or the closet doors.

He's a periodical and newspaper reader, not a booklover.

So, basically, I try to buy him things that he normally wouldn't buy for himself (i.e., the massage).

Well, I am off to try and fall asleep, despite all the caffeine I've had today. Maybe I'll find some Ambien in my stocking tomorrow.

Christmas Carols for the Demented

2006-12-21T11:41:00.000-08:00

1. Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?

2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3. Dementia --- I Think I'll Be Home for Christmas

4. Narcissistic --- Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5. Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and....

6. Paranoid --- Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7. Borderline Personality Disorder --- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8. Personality Disorder --- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

9. Attention Deficit Disorder --- Silent night, Holy ... oooh look at the Froggy ... can I have a chocolate ... why is France so far away?

10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder --- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ...

Some Random Musings

2006-12-15T12:38:00.000-08:00

This blog is really starting to look lame because it needs more photos. I will have to take care of that, won't I? Supposedly, BF's sister took a really cool picture of me holding a red umbrella in Cape Cod (so she says). I'll be seeing her this weekend so hopefully I can can borrow it to scan in.

Got my blood work back from my cardiologist and everything looks good. My LDL cholesterol could be better but my good cholesterol (the HDL) is so high (78) that she said it almost cancels out the bad. Still, I want to bring it down a mite and working with the personal trainer might do that. My blood pressure reading was 90/70...egads! (in a good way, of course!)

And yes, that is my Christmas present to myself. I am biting the bullet and have signed up for a personal trainer who will supposedly help me get my core (torso) in peak condition, thereby making me a stronger and faster runner. Also, it will help protect me against injury.

I seem to have reached a running plateau. I got down to 24:11 this past season in the 5K but just can't seem to get over the hump into 23-land. Hopefully, this program will help.

I will try to be diligent about writing about my progress here. One of the things I hope to accomplish is a reduction in body fat. Now, when I tell this to people they look at me like I have three heads because I look slim for the most part. But you have to remember that people who excel at running or other aerobic sports have very low body fat. Paul Tergat, for example, who holds the world' s record for the fastest marathon with a time of 2:04, has 4% body fat! Lance Armstrong has 9% body fat.

Now before you think that I'm comparing myself to these two, I am not! First of all, they are male and they are professional athletes. I am just making a point that one of the reasons they excel at their respective sports is because of their low body fat percentages.

The last time I had mine checked it was around 21%. Not awful, but as a female runner, it should be around 18%. That is my goal (unless my trainer tells me otherwise).

In other good news, looks like I will be getting third place USATF awards this year for both the Mini 1 and Mini 2 categories for road racing! Woohoo! I was really trying for the Mini 2 category (medium-distance races, 5 Milers, 8Ks and 10Ks) so the Mini 1 category (5ks mostly) came as a BIG surprise. I consider myself a better mid-distance runner than shorter distance runner. The awards dinner takes place in January.

Finally, A Judge Who Gets It Right

2006-12-11T13:54:00.000-08:00

Italics are mine--Martta

Jury recommends 90-year sentence for teen in Spring pipe attack
By BRIAN ROGERSCopyright 2006 Houston Chronicle

A jury recommended today that Keith Turner be sentenced to 90 years in prison for his role in a savage attack in which a plastic pipe was kicked into the rectum of another teenager, causing severe injuries.

Turner, 17, showed no reaction as he stood and listened to the verdict.

His mother, Janis Turner, sobbed loudly upon hearing the decision.

The verdict means Turner must serve at least 30 years before he can become eligible for parole.
The jury convicted Turner of aggravated sexual assault on Friday for the April 22 attack at a residence in Spring.

Later on Friday, during the trial's sentencing phase, Turner's mother said from the witness stand that he is a loving son with a good heart, but had fallen in with a bad crowd.

"He's not a bad kid,'' Janis Turner said, sobbing. ``He's making bad choices.''

[No, Ms. Turner, he's a bad kid. Some people are just bad seeds].

Turner's 18-year-old friend, David Tuck, was sentenced to life in prison last month after being convicted of aggravated sexual assault for the same attack.

Gus Sons, 16, whose home was the site of the attack, testified that Turner had held the 1½-inch-diameter pipe in place and Tuck had kicked it deep into the unconscious victim's rectum.
The victim testified in both trials that he does not recall the attack or the day leading up to it. He said he has undergone about 30 surgeries to repair massive internal injuries.and has more to go.
Sons told jurors that he, Turner, Tuck and the 17-year-old victim had been drinking and using drugs before the attack took place.

He said Tuck knocked the victim unconscious because the group suspected that the victim had stolen some of the drugs. Sons also said his younger sister, Danielle, then 12, had accused the victim of trying to kiss her.

Sons said Tuck shouted "white power!'' while beating and kicking the Hispanic victim.

You racist piece of shit. I hope you die in prison and rot in hell!

brian.rogers@chron.com

Thoughts on the Philly Marathon

2006-11-25T05:32:00.000-08:00

I actually did better at Philly than my expectations. I told Tom that I didn't think it was unrealistic that I would do something "around 4:30." The operative word here being "around." I didn't want to be disappointed if I didn't make my goal. And "around" can mean anything from 5 to 15 minutes in either direction. LOL!

I haven't done a marathon since Jersey Shore in 2004 so I really didn't know what to expect. Yes, I had done a few long runs prior, but in all honesty, none more than 18 miles (LBI). But I was determined about two things: I was going to stick to a pace between 10 and 10:30 minutes/mile no matter what and I was going to take 1-minute walk breaks every 2 miles whether I felt like I needed them or not.

This worked well until I got to the halfway point at 13.1. When I arrived there, I could have sworn that I just passed Mile 12 about a few minutes ago, 7:52 to be exact! I asked a runner next to me what was going on and he said that the 12 mile sign was actually for the half-marathoners. Well, that kinda threw me off base a bit because I was taking my walk breaks at the even number miles. Now, because of that snafu, I would have to change it to odd numbers. Not a real big deal but when you're running 26.2 miles, you don't need any added confusion thrown in along the way.

I actually felt pretty good up until Mile 21. I felt better doing this race than I did doing LBI because there was virtually no wind. It was a beautiful course, too, never boring. You went through shopping districts,the downtown Philly area, a park, alongside a river, even along a roadcalled Kelly Drive, which Tom pointed out. And, with the exception of acouple of small ones, no really big hills to worry about. The crowds were enthusiastic, too.

The stiffness hit at Mile 21. Fortunately, I had been taking inGatorade at all of the water stops so that helped to offset some of the cramping somewhat but it's not a permanent effect. You have to keep taking it. At this point, my walk breaks went from 1 minute to 1:15 minutes to 2:00 minutes. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted to finish. Amazingly, according to the course clocks and my watch, I was pretty much right about where I wanted to be timewise.

At mile 23, I saw a woman running with a bunch of balloons and a sign that read 4:15 pace. She soon passed me by, however, and there was no way I was going to catch up to her. It's true what they say, the last 6 miles of a marathon are a beast. As I got closer and closer to the finish line, people kept yelling "You're almost there!" At one point, I shouted back, "Where's there?" and they laughed. Seriously, it seemed as if the finish was nowhere in sight. And there it was, finally!

The clock said 4:25:05 but my watch (chip time)said 4:20:05. (As Tom, the Lottery King, later pointed out, my bib number was 4205...weird! Only Tom would make this connection.) This was not a 10minute pace, but a 9:55 pace--31 FREAKING MINUTES OFF MY LAST MARATHON IN 2004!! ! No wonder I felt tired, achy and queasy.

Afterwards, all I wanted to do was sit down on the curb but I was afraid Iwould not be able to get up again. I ambled on over to the food tent, looking remarkably like someone trying to take a sobriety test. I could not seem to walk a straight line no matter how hard I tried. I got a banana, some water, found a chair, called Catherine and Tom to let them know where to find me. Although I had stopped running five minutes ago, it seemed as if my whole body was still racing. I don't know if was from the physical effects of the marathon or just looking at my running watch in disbelief.

What a (use your own expletive)!

2006-11-05T04:44:00.000-08:00

Gawker.com has something called the Douchebag Awards, intended for people who act like, well, douchebags. Maybe I should start something similar here although I would have to change the name of the awards to something else, lest I be accused of being a copycat and a plagiarist.

I found this little gem in my emailbox last night:

Do you have nothing better to do then sit on your computer and discuss the personal lives of people who you do not know? I am speaking about your comments about the Carbones being "numerous and breeders". People in the 1940's and 50's were know for having more than the typical 2.5 children of this generation. I would like you to know that May and Sam Carbone have left a legacy of healthy and successful adults who contribute to society. They are teachers, engineers, architects, mothers and fathers.

Sincerely,
Jaime
Granddaughter of May and Sam Carbone

My first reaction was wha...? I don't know any of these people, I don't know anyone in East Rutherford, I don't remember making this comment, and who is this (use your own expletive)?

But I decided to do a little investigation. Since it was obvious she was referring to Baristanet.com, I went to the site and typed "Carbone" into Google. I DO remember a discussion about East Rutherford and a reference to the Carbone family. But, I repeat, I DID NOT MAKE IT!

And sure enough, there it was, the aforementioned comment, attributed to another blogger who shall remain nameless.

So, Ms. Jaime, I ask you this question: Do you have nothing better to do then sit on your computer and discuss the personal lives of people who you do not know?

May I also suggest that although "May and Sam Carbone left a legacy of healthy and successful adults who contribute to society," that you might not be one of them?