Happy Turkey Day!

Indians in mind, for one day

BY Mark Anthony Rolo

I usually try to keep a low profile when Thanksgiving comes around. As an American Indian, one has to be careful about admitting to the guilty pleasures of enjoying a turkey feast.

White liberals are shocked to learn that Indians could celebrate a holiday that is essentially a funeral for them -- "You're commemorating your own cultural death?" White conservatives like to use the holiday to make mention that "Indians are the ones who should be thankful for all we've done to civilize them."

Yes, considering that I spend most of the year thinking and writing about the plight of my Indian people, Thanksgiving is my day of rest.

And considering what a lousy cook I am, imagine my delight last year when I discovered "turkey in a bag" for under 20 bucks. It's loaded with seasoning and does its own basting right inside the bag. Just pop it in the oven and in a few hours, juicy turkey is served.

Of course, it's tough to enjoy the bird when you've got white liberal guests reminding you that sports mascots like the Cleveland Indians' Chief Wahoo continue to degrade and dehumanize "your people." And it's even harder to taste the tart canned cranberries when you've got a white conservative telling you to quit the victim game and "learn to pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

My favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal is the microwaveable stuffing. Again, no bother with having to add seasoning. But the plight of American Indians intrudes again. "How can you stuff your face knowing full well that the poverty rate on most reservations is among the highest in the country!"

"Is that so," I reply. "I never grew up on my reservation. But I have to tell you being the poorest family on the block on Milwaukee's south side, we were lucky to even have a turkey."

"More stuffing, please?"

White conservatives don't like to talk about genocide, land stealing and smallpox. "Please! With all the casino money you people are raking in, one would think you'd learn to forgive and forget."

That would seem to make perfect sense, except for the fact that I, like most other Indians in this country, are not members of those few tribes that rake in big casino bucks. "Anyone have room for pumpkin pie?"

Football truly rounds out the day of thanks. Naturally, you have to be discreet about which team you root for. Among white liberals, the Cowboys are not America's team. "I resent embracing the mythic reminder about how our rogue forefathers stole the West!" White conservatives do not really have much comment on the game, unless the Redskins are on the schedule. "What is so wrong with 'Redskins'? Can't you see how your people's pride and warrior skills are being honored?"

A few years ago, I was stuck out of town on business and I decided to slip into a restaurant to enjoy Thanksgiving in peace, among strangers. But as I sat there enjoying my turkey plate special alone, I got to thinking that maybe I should talk about the Indian plight during the holiday.

"After all," I said to the waitress, "Thanksgiving is the only time white people think about Indians."

(Mark Anthony Rolo is a member of the Bad River Band of Ojibwe in Wisconsin.)